Life — February 15, 1912 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

340 A Cryptogrammatic Tragedy H E was an eminent LL. D., A quite distinguished F. F. V. Likewise A. B. and Ph. D., A man of very high degree. He moved in high society, Where things are all R. S. V. PL He shone at many a social T, And always sent his P. P. C. But he gave many an I. O. U., That must be cared for P. D. Q., Till things he sent for F. O. B. Came to him always C. O. D. He took to drink, and an M. D., A splendid man—a G. O. P. 1 might observe—said, “I can see You're on the verge of the D. T.’ He died—an eminent R. D. Bespoke for him the R. I. P. And if you think my tale not true, Ask any W. CT. UL au Pigs and People NDER this title, our able neighbor, the New York World, says, among other things: ‘The familiar argument ‘of the advo- cates of a Federal Department of Health presided over by a Cabinet officer is that, as the Government maintains experts to aid farmers in conserving the health of hogs, it should also aid in preserving the health of children. It is an argument to startle when first gasps the astonished “ should a paternal government ore careful of pigs than of peo- heard. listene It should not be overlooked in the controversy that while Administration experts are needed to guard the health of hogs that are being fed and fatted for slaughter, none are needed to look after a hog in the woods that is not to be ghtered, While, therefore, su- pervision makes the most pork, freedom makes the healthier hog. s «LIPE= Intimate Interviews sa: “Looked at himself reproachfully ” OBERT MARION LA FOL- LETTE, hearing a knock at the door, arose and opened it. Seeing that Robert Marion La Follette was trying to enter, he shook his head sternly: “You can’t come in here,” he said, “T wish to be entirely alone.” The only answer to this was that Robert Marion La Follette forced open the door, entered and looked at himself almost reproach fully. “You can’t keep me out,” he said, “Just because you don’t even want to talk to me about the tariff is no reason why you should be so exclusive.” “But, my dear boy, I do want to talk about the tariff, but I don’t dare do it.” “Ah, that’s the reason you were afraid to face me! Between you and me, my dear boy, we are right upon everything; upon the Aldrich bill— which is only a scheme to let the bank- ers get a firm grip upon the country— about reciprocity, and insurgency, and progressiveness, and everything else “Except the tariff. Well, don’t you believe in high protection?” “Believe in it? I should say I did. Why, if it wasn’t for high protection there wouldn't be any Republican party, and if there hadn't been any Repub- lican party T wouldn't be here.” “And if there hadn’t been any tar- iff?” “Well, between you and me, Bob, if there hadn’t been any tariff——” The two Bobs looked at each other significantly and rather mournfully, Then one Bob said: “Well, if there hadn't been any tar- iff we might be the next President. El Bob?” MonTeOMERY FACE ya icbooks.com