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Life, 1912-02-01 · page 30 of 48

Life — February 1, 1912 — page 30: what you’re looking at

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Life — February 1, 1912 — page 30: Life, 1912-02-01

What you’re looking at

This page contains three distinct humor pieces: **"Two by Two"** (top left): A anecdote about insurance sales technique. An agent recalls John F. Dryden's advice that success requires "plentiful bait"—illustrated through a Sunday school joke about Noah's Ark. A boy correctly notes Noah could catch no fish because he only had "two worms" as bait. The satire targets insurance agents' reliance on inadequate inducements. **"Spencer's Chinese Client"** (right): A brief anecdote about lawyer Dennis Spencer of Napa. A well-dressed Chinese man hires Spencer to defend him for murder, paying $500. Spencer successfully acquits him. The humor appears to rest on the Chinaman's direct, business-like approach and apparent satisfaction with the outcome—though the joke's exact point is somewhat opaque to modern readers. **"Another Banking Plan"** (lower right): A woman seeks to open a charge account (like those available at department stores) at a bank rather than a traditional savings account—suggesting confusion about financial institutions or satirizing gendered consumer habits. The page is primarily **advertising** for pumps, tooth powder, chocolates, and other products.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

RS IAWT §C1590R9. AUT. N Oe “Two by Two" “The late John F. Dryden was the shrewdest insurance man of his time,” said an insurance agent. “ Mr. Dryden was intensely interested in his work. He c advice to agents. Advising me one day, he said an agent's success depended on the bait His bait must be plentiful. He would it was like Noah's. ah's?’ said 1. “Then Mr. Dryden related a dialogue he had heard in Sunday school when he was a student at Yale. The Sunday school teacher asked a little boy: “*How did Noah occupy himself in the ark?’ “*He occupied himself fishin’, said the little boy. “*A very reasonable answer,’ said the +r, smiling. But he didn’t catch nothin’, said the little boy scornfully. “*No?? said the teacher. ‘Why not?’ “¢Hadn't enough bait.’ said the little hoy— only two worms.’” —Philadelphia Bulletin. Mrs, Ecru: Although I have been to school and college and am supposed to he educated, I always mix up those two countries—Rococo and Morocco. —Meggendorfer Blatter. A GENTLEMAN BURGLAR Spencer's Chinese Client The “ Knave” in the Oakland Tribunc has published several anecdotes about the late Dennis Spencer of Napa, who was noted as a law-maker, orator and lawyer, The following story is particu larly good : One day there entercd his office in Napa a bright-looking, well-dressed! Chinaman. He took a chair and pro ceeded straight to the point: “You Mr. Spencer, the big lawyer?” “How much you charge to defend a Chinaman?” “For what crime?” Murder.” “ Five hundred dollars.” The Chinaman said he would call again. A few days later he returned to Spen- cer’s office, gravely placed $500 in coin on the desk before the astonished at- torney, and said: “All lite. kill tim.” Spencet defended and acquitted him. —Wasp. Another Banking Plan “T should like to open an account at this bank, if you please.” “We shall be glad to accommodate you, madam. What amount do you wish to deposit?” “Oh, but I mean a charge account, such as I have at the big dry goods '—Chicago Tribune. Live: is published every ‘Thursday, simultaneously in the Ui Possessions. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreiga countrics in the Postal Union, $1.04 Hack numbers, after three months from a year; to Canada, $2 cents, Single current copies, 10 cents. date of pablication, 25 cents, Lave: is for sale by all States, Great Britain, Canada and British Chancery Lane, London, E.C., England, AGENTS. Brentanos's, 37 Ave. de I’ Opera, Paris; also at Saarbach's News Exchanges, 21 Bride Lane, Flect St.. E. C., London; 148 Rue da Faubourg. St. Denis, Paris; 1. Va Gustavo Modena, Milan; Mayence, Germany, " Jewsdealers in Great Britain, ‘The International News Company, Breams Building, [Ne cantribtion ell be ratrned unlit accompanied by stamped and addrewed envelope. Live, dacs met bald ite sg Oph txt and Mlutratons fw Lares are cxpyrighted. “For Reprint Rights im Groat Britain apply t Lave. 116 responsible for the les or non-return of unuslicited contributions. Prompt metifcatiom should be sent by subscribers of any change of addres ir Pump Adopted, after thorough _ investi- gation, as part of the regular equipment of Peerless, Stevens- Duryea, Columbia, and other well- known cars. Furnished as special equipment on other good cars. @ It is the pump you should have on your car. No fuss: no bother. Merely attach the hose to your tire, throw a lever, and the engine does the rest. Will inflate any tire with clean, free air in less than three minutes. @ Every pump that leaves our factory is thoroughly tested and is positively guaranteed for one year. For complete information, send us the name of your car. KELLOGG MANUFACTURING CO. 25 CIRCLE STREET :: ROCHESTER, N. Y. 1 To Whiten the Teeth It’s the Oxygen (in the orm of peroxide of hydrogen) in Calox Hon Tendee as pertst Ccaakar and whieoertal he tenths Deatlos advice ste aoe, Physielane preseribe It. Druggists, 26 Cents. Sample and Booklet free on request. McKESSON & ROBBINS - NEW YORK ‘Ath for the Calex Tooth Brush, 35. Luscious Mint Flavored Creams A pure, fresh confection that isa delight at any time r~, We at: ‘U-ALL:~NO- Manufacture “AFTER DINNER MINT* “U-ALde- NO- Sold in ting only, never in bulk. Mint Chewing Gum A Uberal box matied for 10¢. Send Se for a package. MANUFACTURING CO OF AMERICA North 1 ralladetpbie, oo 26 Let Us Tell You that the reason that you like Peter’s Chocolate so much is because it has the most exquisite true chocolate flavor that has ever been ob- tained in candy making. This is due to the fact that the cocoa beans and the milk and cream are of the finest, and the process, which was invented by Mr. D, Peter, of combining them has never been equaled. . It is: a food and candy combined You can get it in either the plain or nut cakes. “High as the Alps in Quality” LAMONT, CORLISS & CO. Sole Agents New York comicbooks.com —— a en |