Life, 1912-01-11 · page 23 of 40
Life — January 11, 1912 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Life* magazine contains three separate satirical pieces: 1. **"Sayings of the Great"** (top): A quote attributed to Hetty Green (a real wealthy businesswoman) about poor girls having equal opportunity for happiness if honest. The accompanying sketch shows three fashionable women in conversation—social satire about class and women's prospects. 2. **"Experiences"** (main story): A humorous dialogue where a father lectures his college-bound son about the value of experience over mere knowledge. The joke's punchline: the father admits he's done all the reckless things (gambling, drinking, romance) he warns against—*except* a joy ride—which is why he wants his son to experience it. The illustration "A Total Eclipse of the Son" visualizes the father literally eclipsing/overshadowing the son, reinforcing the irony. 3. **"Accurate"** (bottom right): A brief domestic joke where a wife asks her husband to fetch her needle from "the haystack" without specifying which one, claiming there's no way to make a mistake since there's "only one needle"—obvious absurdist humor about wives' illogical demands. The overall theme mocks generational advice-giving and domestic relations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE POOR GIRL HAS JUST AS GOOD A CHANCE FOR HAPPINESS, IF SHE IS SINCERE OR HONEST IN HER WORK, AS THE RICH GIRL— Hetty Green. Experiences s Y boy, what counts is experience.” The kindly father shut the door of his study and drew up to him his young son, just about to leave college. “Yes,” he continued, “it is in the light of my experience that you may hope to win, and you must therefore be guided by me. Mere knowledge—the accumulation of facts —all this is in a sense necessary, but it does not take the place of wisdom or judgment, which can only be attained by a lifetime of striving and development. My boy, do not be misled or deceive yourself with the thought that you are wiser than your elders. You must be guided by me and must learn to avoid the mistakes that I have made.” The boy, thoughtful for a moment, raised his fine young face to his father. os? A TOTAL ECLIPSE OP THE SON SAYINGS OF THE GREAT “Tell me, ” he said, “have you ever, in the course of one short week, played poker, gone to the race track and dropped a hundred, been on a joy ride and smashed a farmer, drunk fourteen bottles of cham- pagne, smoked a thousand cigarettes and fallen in love with a chorus girl?” For some time the old gentleman was silent. “My boy,” he said at last, “I have—all except the joy ride. That is precisely why I am trying to give you the benefit of it.” Accurate RS. EVERYWIFE: Now that you are up, my dear, would you kindly fetch me my needle from the haystack? No, I don’t know which haystack! Look in all the haystacks. You can’t make a mistake; there’s only one needle.