Life — January 4, 1912 — page 90: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ORDS like “‘best’? and “‘highest quality’? can be used, rightly or wrongly, to describe any candy. The real significance of the term itself, however, is not in the dictionary, but in the candy itse/f. It means nothing to say that 4 are best, but it does mean something to know it through personal experience. Try “~4", The fineness of your taste will afford the best proof of Huyler’s supremacy. There are 54 Huyler stores in the United States and Canada and over 4000 Huyler agents —the best druggists in their respective com- munities. To get the name of the nearest Huyler agent or store, Write for Illustrated Booklet which tells the interesting story of She, gives a list of many of the Huyler popular confections. and tells the public how quality and purity are assured in all Huyler oducts, y 64 IRVING PLACE NEW YORK CITY lier servant of every petticoat in town. It is as much at home in the bar- room as in the boudoir; it brings the millionaire in his palace to the level of the mechanic in his tene. ment; and when the pride of the par- venu denies you admittance, the ring of the Telephone will give you audience. It is the confederate of the love that laughs at locksmiths; it defies the cur- mudgeon and circumvents the duenna; it is the life-line of intrigue and the baffler of seclusion; and no occasion is so sacred, no spot so secure, no atmo- sphere so sweet, no pride so safe, that the’ insolent and insistent sibillance of its clamor may not invade it. The Telephone is the last and most lusty ally of a vociferous civilization. The roar of the trolley subsides, the whistle of the locomotive ceases, the voice of the demagogue grows silent, the phonograph exhausts itself, the clangor of street and mart is stilled, the lungs of men wear out, and the rosebud mouth of lovely woman becomes silent, but the unconquerable Telephone is on the job twenty-four hours a day, 365 days in the year. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned; but a woman scorned pales her ineffectual fires before the cool, calm, ceaseless, clamor and constant, confident, calculated cussedness of the Telephone; and when the opulent in- ventor of this supreme instrument of utility and torture, usefulness and twad- dle, shall stand at Jast before the Recording Angel as he reads from the Book of Doom the words and deeds credited to the Telephone, he will realize that heaven can furnish him no shelter and hell no refuge from the accumulated wrath of the dead gen- erations, and he will rush out into space to seck safety in the endless reaches of chaos.—Joseph Smith, Councitatan: I've come to see, sir, if you will subscribe anything to the town cemetery. Otp Restpent: Good gracious! I've alrcady subscribed three wives, —Tit-Bits. The Telephone The most insolent thing in modern civilization is the Telephone. imperious as a pretty woman, as insistent as a dun, as clamorous as an office- seeker, as importunate as a beggar, as impudent as a newsboy and as temper- wrecking as a termagant. It is berated and reprobated early and late; it is damned as a nuisance and condemned us a meddler; it invades our privacy and insults our pride; it sends the roar of the street into the car of the recluse; it drags as from reflection, interrupts our recreation, interferes with our rest, and destroys our dreams; it is diurnal nocturnal, eternal and infernal; and yet there always comes a psychological moment when we forget its dereliction, forgive its depravity and chant its praises to high* heaven. The Telephone is the Campanile of business, the whispering gallery of so- ciety, the go-betwcen of industry, the herald of the press, the agent of the police, the ellringer of gossip, the bell-wether of scandal and the cava- No more wiring, nobad contacts, no shor! or inefficient batteries; but perfect ieeise Tet acts like magic. Car ears every dat Justclap the tid on and you complete te] ‘bot do without them at any price. Usirens] price $§.00. Sold with guarantee of absolute satisfaction. 12 F, 4 ~dasing a new carbe sure that it fs equipped with this Eatery Pot FISK MANUFACTURING COMPANY, 2434 Calumet Avenue : 2 CHICAGO STAMPS-Stamp Album and 155ALL DIF. RARE incl. China (dragon), Malay (tiger), Ri ‘Tasmania ('dscape). Jamaica (w'trfall), e: galy,10¢. 3009 mixed for'gn only 1c. 1000 Fe . . Lists, coupons, etc. tree! BOs, WEGUY STAMPS. tanenns camp Co. 8uLah i