Life, 1912-01-04 · page 58 of 108
Life — January 4, 1912 — page 58: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes prominent American editors and intellectuals of the early 1900s. The main article mocks an unnamed "Colonel" (likely a Life editor or contributor) who represents vanity and self-importance. The piece ridicules his obsession with public image, comparing him to celebrities like Lillian Russell and Sarah Bernhardt—people known for courting attention. The dialogue lampoons intellectual pretension: references to Hamilton Mabie and Lyman Abbott (real editors/writers) suggest Life viewed them as pompous. The Colonel's desire to become President and his boasts about his importance are portrayed as absurd ego-stroking. The bottom cartoon, titled "After the Socialists Get In," presents caricatured European monarchs and nobility (identified by name: Guelph, Hohenzollern, Bourbon, Romanoff, Savoy, Bernadotte). This satirizes fears about socialist revolution potentially overthrowing aristocracy—a topical concern during the early 20th century's labor unrest.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“LIFE: Talks With Great People “| mighty glad to see you—d—n you!” With this cheery greeting from the Colonel, we were ushered in past one of Lyman Abbott's sermons and nearly missing one of Hamilton W. Mabie’s essays, were seated in the pleasantly decorated mausoleum, known as the contrib- uting editor’s retreat. “Yes,” he went on, “I'm glad to see anyone who can help me in the grand work of putting me right once more with the great American people. What do you charge for a reading notice, top of column, displayed next to one of your most interesting advertisements?” Before we answered that question, we replied sternly: “We want to know exactly what your opinion is of yourself. Do you belong to that great class of neurotic, intuitive, irresponsible, inaccurate, unmoral geniuses wh miscontrol the destinies of man? Or are you just a plati- tudinous protuberance upon the face of destiny?” His teeth gleamed in the oppressive semi-religious at- mosphere. Hamilton Mabie was growling fiercely to him- self in the next room over an article for the Ladies’ Home Journal. Dr. Lyman Abbott was chanting the doxology over a full page ad. “T'll tell you how it is,” he said, “if you won't give me away. I’m very much like other people. That is to say, I'm like Lillian Russell, Sarah Bernhardt or Nat Goodwin, in respect to admiration—i have come to feed upon it. Be- tween you and me, this being relegated to obscurity is kill- ing me.” “Why don’t you go into vaudeville?” “ What is the use of doing that when there is a chance of my becoming President again?” “Ts there very much difference?” “Think of the difference in the audiences!” “But how about the future of the American people? How about the great results to be accomplished in which we will all be like a happy family, sitting around drinking “Putting me right once more with the American people” buttermilk and going through all of the motions of a steril- ized love feast?” “Ah!” he exclaimed, “now you are talking; and me on a throne, having my moving picture taken for pos- terity!" “And Taft?" we queried. He smiled platitudinously. “Will be remembered,” he replied, “ for having tried to hold down the seat of government while I was taking a brief vacation in Africa—and here.” Suspecting that Hamilton Mabie or Lyman Abbott might enter at any moment and attempt to read us one of their compositions, we hereupon discreetly withdrew. AFTER THE SOCIALISTS GET IN CEO. GUELPH WM. HOHENZOLLERN AL. BOURBON NICK ROMANOFF VICTOR E, SAVOY GUS. BERNADOTTE