Life — December 21, 1911 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*LIPE* The Post-office Investigation HE United States Post-office being under investigation, Postmaster- General Hitchcock was called to the d. Have you a past, Mr. Hitchcock?” “Oh, yes. IT come from Massachu- setts and I have been a very successful politician.” “You have also made a wonderful of the post-office, have you success not?” “Indeed, 1 that “Never mind the flattery, Mr. Hitch- cock. You may tell us what you have done.” “T have got rid of the deficit which has been such an age-long bugbear.” “Good! But have you done it in a legitimate way?” “What do you mean?” “ Have you done it in a way to im- prove the efficiency of the service?” “Oh, yes. Certainly.” “Would you care to specify?” “No. I would rather not.” “Have you not reduced the number of deliveries in many places and made the routes less direct?” “Here and there, perhaps, in such rather flatter myself THE PRESIDENTIAL CHAIR ALTERED TO SUIT THE TASTE OF THE. PRESENT OCCUPANT minor places as Brooklyn, I have cur- tailed —” “Have you not reduced the number and wages of employees and unduly added to the work of those who were left?” “Oh, yes, of course. But those are laboring men. Who cares for laboring men?” . “Tt is a fact, is it not, that you have done nothing to reduce the overcharges of the railroads?” “Well, that is a matter which, you know: “On the contrary isn’t it true that you have remitted to the railroads a large amount of fines which they should have paid for failing to de- liver mail as per agreement?” “How did you find that out?” “And then, in the division of sec- ond-class matter, haven't you made the Department much less efficient than formerly?” “There is no use to discuss that. There has been too much said about it already.” “Quite so. done?” “Well, look at the number of fraud orders I have issued against get-rich- quick concerns.” “What do you understand by a get- quick-rich_ concern, Mr. Hitchcock?” “A get-rich-quick concern is one that promises excessively large profits.” “Something like the formation of the Steel Trust, perhaps?” “Well, that’s different. That is a respectable—a_respectable—what shall “A. respectable get-rich-quick con- cern. How would that do?” “T don’t like to use that term in con- nection with anything of that And, besides, the Steel Trust ceeded.” “Isn't it true that you issue fraud orders rather against the weak than against the strong?” “Tt might seem that way, but——” “But isn’t it true, Mr. Hitchcock? “Tv will do. If you persist in annoying me J will exclude you from the mails.” What else have you sort. suc- The Miracle Worker mines the ore and fashions it Into a giant swift and strong, An engine-thing with human wit, Whose rumbling rollers whirl along White leagues of paper to the clutch nyriad finger-tips, that wage ic in the type-shod touch That multiplies the printed page. He girds the earth and threads the sea With nerves of keen clectrie sense. They flash him, for his mystery, The moment's swift intelligence. Sharp spics he stations every way, To see and hear (or shrewdly guess) ; And fells a forest every day To feed the hunger of his press. Lo, now the mighty scheme is set! What wonder doth his magic bring? “YOUNG GOTROX MARRIES GAY SOUBRE1 "! “GREAT DIVA'S POODLE DIES"! “THE KIN OF BOOLOOGA S DOCTOR MAGNATE, RS VIEWS"! “ACQUITTED FAKER WRITES A BOOK"! The wonder is—he calls it news, E. O. James. comicbook Meum