Life — December 14, 1911 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIFE: Carnival of Crime in Bronx Zoo BY J. BOUNDER BALLINGFORD (A visit to the Bronx Zoo, followed by a careful examination of all the animals, reveals an appalling condition of affairs. Our correspondent, J. Bounder Ballingford, is especially qualified to undertake this examina- tion, having been in Africa and Washington, also Albany, and other places where strange animals have their haunts, We have cautioned Mr. Balling- ford not to exaggerate the condition any more than necessary to make picturesque magazine reading. Ordinarily we do not approve of muck- raking articles, realizing that they no longer excite public interest, but this is a case where the whole American people are deeply—nay, vitally—con- cerned.) HAVE just returned by taxicab via Harlem from the Bronx Zoo, where I have passed several weeks studying the conditions there. I am heartsick over the outcome. I can, however, only present the plain facts, hoping that the American people will act upon them. At bottom, I firmly believe that our principles are sound, The Bronx Zoo occupies a large area of valuable ground. The ordinary ior during a casual inspection would not notice anything singular. “A camel on the Prohibition ticket” Everything appears orderly. But this surface condition is fatally deceptive. Scratch beneath the surface, and cor- ruption of the most pronounced type is everywhere apparent. There is an immigration law in this United States of ours which is sup- posed to be rigidly enforced. Every foreigner who lands on our shores must have thirty dollars in cash in his clothes, and must be self-supporting. Alas! that I should say it—but this law is wholly ignored by practically every inhabitant of the Zoo. Not one of them can fulfill this simple requirement, and every day they have to be fed at the expense of the American people. They have made no attempt to become nat- uralized. A careful study of their faces shows that they have no inten- tion of doing so. I visited the beavers yesterday; they were imported from Canada, duty free, in spite of the well-known feeling of the Canadian people toward our insti- tutions, Since they have been here they have spent most of their time in felling trees; thus one of our most valuable resources is seriously threat- ened. The beavers are also highly specu- lative in their habits, The amount of watered stock they deal in is, to say the least, alarming. When inter- viewed, the only thing the head beaver, who is called “Guggenheim” by his associates, would say, was: “ The pub- lic be dammed!” When I first came here I went straight to the hippopotamus tank ; head hippo said to me: “Things are pretty bad. During the past month I have lost nearly four hundred pounds worrying about it.” he “He is up in the air most of the time” “Who is at the head of the ma- chine?” I asked. “The lion was, but he has been re- called; they put in a hyena, but he wasn't satisfactory, he managed to appropriate all the choice tit-bits for himself, and he was recalled; then the leopard was elected, but he had spots, and they recalled him; they wanted me to run, but I'm no sprinter. The giraffe is trying his hand at it, but he has no head for such things; he is up in the air most of the time.” “What are your principles?” I asked. “Well, I am strongly against race suicide. We are about the only family here that raises any children; they jeer me for that; in fact, the insurgents— and they number the majority—have formed a combination against the rab- bit and myself for overpopulating the district ; that’s what you get for being patriotic. Practically my only consola- tion is in taking mud baths. I’ve tried to make something on the side by ad- vertising the use of my bathroom as a comicbooks.com