Life, 1911-12-07 · page 91 of 112
Life — December 7, 1911 — page 91: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising** for the Santa Fe Railway's "de Luxe" California Limited train service. The large illustrated advertisement features an elegant woman's portrait promoting luxury cross-country rail travel, with text emphasizing first-class dining cars and sightseeing opportunities like the Grand Canyon. The page contains two brief satirical **prose sketches** typical of Life magazine's humor: 1. **"A Modern Wife's Schedule"**: Mocks the leisure pursuits of wealthy New York women, depicting a husband's fury at being denied access to his wife, who is fully booked with spa treatments, massage, hairdressing, and dance lessons. The joke critiques the self-absorbed indulgence of elite women. 2. **"A Peculiar Veneration"**: A brief anecdote about Rufus Choate and Chief Justice Shaw of Massachusetts, where Choate compares his reverence for the judge to Hindu idol worship—flattery wrapped in backhanded compliments. Below are period advertisements for shoe inserts and Vienna meerschaum pipes. The humor relies on social commentary about wealth, gender relations, and professional deference.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Monday. The gentleman from the perial Massage Institution is now here. He will be succeeded by one of the ladies from the Columbian Hairdress- Emporium, her orders being that the lady is not to be disturbed until to-mor- row morning at nine o'clock, when an- other lady from the Isothermic and Hy gienic Bathing Palace will preside over her destinies. The rest of the day will be employed with electric facial treat went. On Wednesday she will be en gaged in her Correspondence School for xsthetic dancing, On Thursday she tries a mew system of advanced vibrations, which T have had the honor to persuade ber is the most correct thing at present On Fri Br The young husband waited to hear no more. Sweeping her aside with the frenzy of a mad man, he rushed stairs, almost knocking over the gentle man from the Massage Emporium, and entered his wife's apartment “What docs this mean?” he shouted His bride, raising her head languidly from the Turkish divan, looked at him in the utmost astonishment “How did you get by?” she asked, betraying by her voice the deepest cha- grin, “1 gave strict orders—— “T came by my own right.” he ex- claimed. “Then go,” she murmured. “1 can- not permit myself to be disturbed at present. Go and never return! You have committed the unpa onable sin; 1 shall apply for my decree as early as possible without interfering with my present schedule. I thought that you knew better, but it is quite evident that you are unfit to be the husband of any self-respecting New York A Peculiar Veneration Rufus Choate ai ef Justice Shaw of Massachusetts, t indulged in wordy pat, and was generally Insure feet comfort. health, protection and Beat appearance. They keep your feet warm. incold weather and dri et weather,and can ‘be worn all day long wit injury or discomfort. EVERYBODY NEEDS EVERSTICKS, Aiways for sale where good shoes are sold. ICCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES. None genuine with- out THIS cords CENUINE IMPORTED VIENNA meCRSCHAUM, B205.2 es Three for $1.25, postpaid to you. Atnorts nicotine like a sponge—ensuting 8 : ‘Sanfake) ) Also exclusively for/irs{-class fravel = QW, FreAllarvey dining-car- meals. On the way visit’ Nee Grand@nyonfArizona For art booklets of both trains adress W.J. Black Pass.Tra wre AT.QSERy System, 1062 Ras freely expended on both sides. Choate was once arguing a question before the chief justice (who was one of the home hest men ever raised to the bench), and to express his reverence for the con ceded ability of the judge, said, in yield- ing to an adverse decision: “In com- ing into the presence of Your Honor, I experience the same feelings the Hi doo does when he bows before his idot I know that you ugly, but 1 feel that you are g fe, Chicago Advantage Found at Last A short man looking up sces farther than a tall man looking down. -¢ us (O.) Citizen. “Wity, T always supposed Phist had more than his share of sood things of this world “The good things? Mister, gota blamed thing but money and an appetite for rel of it." —Chicago Tribune comicbooks.com