Life — November 16, 1911 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

How Long A Chicago paper says: During a re- cent trial before Justice Dougherty, it was thought important by counsel to de- termine the length of time that certain “two quarters of beef, two bogs and sheep” remained in an express wagon in front of plaintiff's store before they were taken away by the defendant. The witness under examination was a German, whose knowledge of the Eng- lish language was very limited, but he testified in a very plain, straightforward way to having weighed the meat and to having afterward carried it out and put it into the aforesaid wagon. Then the following ensu Couxsetior te to the jury how long it was after you took the meat from the store and put it into the wagon before it was taken away. Witxess: Now I shoost can dell dat I dinks ‘bout dwelve feet. I not say nearer as dat. Couxsri: You don't understand me. How long was it from the time the meat left the store and was put into the wagon before it was taken away by the de- fendant? Witvess: Now I know not what you ax dat for. Der va der sidewalk, and dat’s shoost so long as it vas. You tell me how long der sidewalk vas. Den feet? Den I tells you how long it vas. he was up mit Course: I don’t want to find out how wide the sidewalk was, but I want to know (speaking very slowly) how— MILKWEED CREAM Corrects all complexion faults, Tt is absorbed through the pores, toning the tissues, cleansing, clearing. soothing and softening both outer and innet Prevents freckles. relieves the smart of stin- barn, counteracts the effect of hard water and gives added charm to healthy summer tan, Price, soc.; large size, $1.00, at druggists. A sample ‘mailed free on request. F. F. Ingram Company Ip) ¥ Note the effects of incomparable beauty he creates with Baldwin-tone . Beginning October fifteenth the great Chopin-interpreter will duplicate this winter his former memorable tours throughout the United States with the Baldwin Piano. De Pachmann’s preference for the Baldwin covers the ripest period of his matchless art. His own explanation of it is eloquent :— It cries when I feel like crying, it sings joyfully when I feel like singing. It responds—like a human being—to every mood. I love the Baldwin Piano !"’ we York — wagon — before — it — was — taken —away, Witxess: Oh! dat! Vell now, I not sold any meat so. I all time weigh him, THE BOOK OF THE BALDWIN sent free upon request. The Baldwin Compang CINCINNATI 142 West Fourth Street 20 St. Louis San Francisco . Wabash Ave. 1111 Olive Street 310 Sutter Street Louisville Denver 425 S. Fourth Ave. 1626 California S We also build the Baldwin Piano with the Baldwin Interior Player Mechanism. If interested in a Player-Piano write for information. how long it was before the meat was taken away after it was put into the wagon Wityess (looking very knowingly at counsel): Now you try and get me into never measured meat, not yet. But I a scrape. Dat meat vas shoost so long dinks about dree feet. (Here the spec- tators smiled audibly.) I know not, shentle- meat. He don’t got no longer in den mens, how is dis; I dell you all I can, so goot as I kno Counse: Counset: Look here; I want to know and in der vagon ,as he vas in der chop. his honor and the jury Dat’s all I told you. Dat meat was dead tousan’ year, not mooch. That will do. —The Library of Wit and Humor. comicbooks.com