Life, 1911-11-02 · page 33 of 56
Life — November 2, 1911 — page 33: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct satirical pieces from Life magazine. **Stolypin Section:** A tribute to P. A. Stolypin, the recently assassinated Russian statesman. The text praises him as a capable administrator who understood Russia's needs, lamenting his death as a greater loss to his political opponents than supporters. The accompanying caricature (by Wm. H. Mercury) depicts a figure in exaggerated mid-leap with flowers, likely mocking either Russian political violence or the romanticization of radical assassination. **Finance Section:** A scathing satire on wealthy industrialists and financial manipulation. Life mockingly argues that financiers like Morgan, Aldrich, and Ryan have discovered that "two and two" needn't equal four—implying they've mastered creative accounting and fraud. The "Proverbs of a Politician" section extends this, cynically listing corruption principles: graft supersedes honest work, political connections ("pull") matter more than merit, and bosses control outcomes. The satire targets Gilded Age financial corruption and the perceived untouchability of wealthy manipulators.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Stolypin HE late P. A. Stolypin, head statesman and ad- ministrator of Russia, was indeed a hard man, but it is not clear that his taking off has been profit- able to any party in Russia. He was not the kind of man who can be replaced. Military governors, grand dukes, police chiefs and all the usual kinds of Russian officials can be supplied in necessary. quan- tity by the machinery of the Russian Empire, but Stolypin was not a standardized product. He was a great individual, who could rule, suppress and also think. He could think, and did, not for the Czar, but for Russia. He knew 's needs, and however stern and auto- cratic were the plans by which he practiced to meet them, the plans did recognize the needs. Big men are scarce and valuable. pin was a very big man. newspapers in Russia agree that his murder was a greater disaster for his public adversaries than for his sup- porters, It is a very bad mistake to blow up the wrong man, but it is sure to hap- pen wherever assassination becomes a political habit, That is one great trou- ble with that habit. It is sure to fail in judgment. The recall is much bet- ter, for that gives second thoughts a chance, Finance HE principal thing to be noted about finance is that nobody will admit that he does not understand what it means. This is due to the well-known con- vention that two and two make four. “Was it ordained,” said Arthur Hugh Clough, “ that twice two should make four, simply for the intent that boys and girls should be cut to the heart that they do not make five? Be content; when the veil is raised, per- haps they will make five! Who knows?” At present the chief difficulty is that so few people really know that two and two actually make five. Among the masses of common people the be- lief that two and two make four is universal. This obsolete doctrine is still taught in our public schools. Mr. Morgan, Mr. Aldrich, Mr. Ryan and a few other choice spirits have learned that this is not so—that two and two may not only make five, but possibly ten or twenty, according to the condi- tion of things. Stoly- Some of the radical ‘WM, H. WHO HAS TRAVELED TWO HUNDRED * IN ELEVE The fact that the rest of us are still wrapped up in the old belief is the cause of all our troubles. The real secret of finance then, is to discard the laws of arithmetic at once and get down to business. It is amazing that no one of the multitude has thought of this before. , what does it mean when it says, ‘kid-gloved reformers ’?” “Tt means a man who’s trying to stop graft without injuring the busi- ness of the grafters.” “ATH MERCURY AND SEVENTY-FIVE THOUSAND MILES YEARS Proverbs of a Politician 'O work is human; to graft divine. An ounce of pull is worth a pound of push. The trust proposes; the boss disposes. Fair count never won faint election. An office in hand is worth two on the ticket. It is better to have grafted and lost than never to have grafted at all. A wink to the wise is sufficient. I would rather be boss than President. Maurice Korshet. comicbooks.com