Life — October 19, 1911 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

— | | | ‘LiF iE» 665 Boston OSTON is a large area of Dig- nity and Tradition entirely sur- rounded by Conservatism. It is the metropolis of that vest-pocket parish called New England, and radi- ates from an organization known as the Home Mar- ket Club, She made her début some years ago at a tea party that was heard around the world. Ever since that time she has been standing pat. Some philosopher has de- clared that Boston is a “state of mind.” This has never been conclusively proven, but some of her celebrated medico-religious experts have found that this hypothesis depends entirely upon which was first, mind or matter. If matter was first, who minded it? If mind was first, what was the matter with it? Someone else has said that Bos- ton has suffered much from “Acute Definition.” This, however, is her only acute ailment—all others being chronic. Boston leads the world in the production of Confection- ery and Hand-Made Religions. This shows a diversity of tastes, if not broadmindedness. Other products for which she is famous are Beans, Sesquipedalianism, Spectacles and Paper-Bound Editions of Gentility. Her national flower is the codfish blossom. Boston society is highly fletcherized for the most part; some of it is even predigested. The sartorial tumultuous- ness and the epicurean revelry of Broadway are consid- ered banal in Boston, and have never been sanctioned in her sacred society. As to cordiality, she is temperate, if not a teetotaler, and in some of the more select circles frappée. She alw: wears that famous Harvard hoar- frost on her high intellectual brow. Boston furnishes all the vicarious intellectuality for the whole world, and is the most successful cold storage plant for the human emotions to be found anywhere outside of Etah. It is the only place where ancestral achievement is accepted as absolute assurance of ability. The ancestral bone is mightier than the sword. In the world of art Boston is famous for what she has banished. Hobble skirts and Parisian styles of hairdress- ing are not considered good form for statuary. Politically, Boston has been in jail to her own convic- tions for years. Her only hope lies in changing places with ns or moving into the suburbs. Boston’s two principal social institutions are Harvard College (in Cambridge) and her Chamber of Commerce. Boston is said to be thrifty. Joxatuan Joun Buzzeu, ECIPROCITY will never be so popular in Congress as rapacity. Hope for the Weary HE New York Women’s League for Animals gave a gentle boost to civilization in starting a summer home for horses. Its purpose is to aid owners who wish to give their animals a well-earned vacation, but who are unable to pay for boarding them. “Horses received at the farm will, at any time upon request of their owners, be returned, recuperated and better able to go on with their work. “Owners of old horses who wish to retire them (not desiring to destroy them) may turn their charges over to the farm, and be assured of good care for the animals and plenty to eat so long as the veterans live. “The owners are under no expense further than the transportation charges, ard a special rate for taking them to Matteawan has been granted to the League by the Cen- tral Hudson Steamboat Company. Owners who are will- ing to give their horses an outing in the country may apply in writing to the Free Dispensary for Animals at No. 325 Lafayette Street, New York. May the boarders be numerous and happy. Good luck to the enterprise! HE proof of the wedding is in the alimony. etenses® | THAT POINT OP VIEW FIGHTING 18 A RELIC OF RARBARISM. 1 LIKY mA HOMES, BILLING AND COOING Mr. Do: PEACE; IT MEANS Love. Mr, Bulldog: yes, BUT LOOK AT THE FUN you stss. comicbooks.com