Life — October 19, 1911 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FS we who are constantly expecting some im- pending troublesome great disaster that is coming unawares. Plain Knockers: Members who dis- agree with everything on general prin ciples, id argue about it. Wet Blankets: These differ from the knockers in the fact that they say very little, but by subtle methods spread around them the impression that nothing good can come out of anything. Sunshine to them is only the precursor of trouble. Hypochondria ‘These members are absorbed in their own health, Peevers: .\ Peever is an expert on touchiness. He is a sore spot in the Touch him and he bris- tles with peevishness. Patriotic Pessimists: mem- bers are constantly predicting that the country is on the verge of failure; that our natural resources can last but a few more weeks and that our institu- atmosphere. These tions are decaying before our eyes. Suspectors: Those who suspect everyone else of a hase motive and are quite certain that there is a conspiracy to get them out of their jot Advisers: Those who make a prac- tice of buttonholing their friends and telling them that they are not looking well, and there is no time to lose if they wish to live, and that under the most favorable terms the result is doubtful. Epistle Mongers: Those who write doleful letters, in which they display the wonderful gift of making you feel frightfully down on your luck for days after reading them. EQUALITY THE SOCIALISTS’ DREAM Others will be announced later. We can only repeat that we do not urge anyone to join the Pessimists’ Club; if you are a genuine pessimist you will join anywa The club is al- ready a melancholy success; we do not expect to make matters any worse, as they are already about as bad as they can be; but at least we shall be able to face the bitter truths of life, and not be so ready to be taken in by the false apostles of cheer who go about smil- ing and saying that everything is lovely. Brother Pessimists, let us do our dis- mal duty! We are indeed in a sad state. Let us stand together and re- sist to the uttermost any attempt at cheerfulness. Alack a da; for any of us What hope is there AN EARLY FASHION PLATE A Warm Tribute W = read in the Sw that Congress- man Nicholas Longworth (where have we heard that name before?) “paid a warm tribute to President ‘Tait, saying that he thought the coun- try at large did not fully appreciate the great accomplishments of the President.” This is truly a warm tribute even if it is based on a somewhat low regard for our powers of observation. But what matters it whether we appreciate the President or not so long appreciated by his fellow office-hold- ers? Delay, Linger and Wait OSTMASTER - GENERAL HITCHCOCK ‘says he is going to wait before introducing the parcels post generally, and first try it on the rural free delivery communities. he is s he wants his men to get accus- tomed to it on a small scale first. This sounds ingenuous, but after we have been listening to Mr. Taft post- poning from year to year any reduc- tion in the tariff, we are suspicious of everybody connected with the G ment. jovern- Imagine an ordinary business man, who felt the absolute necessity of introducing some reform into his busi- ness, waiting until his office boys had first become used to it. ‘The express companies are no doubt pleased by the delay. Meanwhile the process of charging forty cents to carry a fifteen-pound “package a dis- tance of twelve miles is still going on. comicbooks-co