Life — September 21, 1911 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Shadowed Events (Chane {BUS had planted his flag on the beach of San Domingo. and was about to continue into the interior of the island when he was costed by a native in war paint, who carried a bundle on his shoulder. “Mr. Columbus, I believe “The same,” answered Chris, eyeing the stranger curiously. “LT won't detain you but a minute,” continued the savage. “I know you're in a hurry, but this is an opportunity you should not miss. I have here a complete edition of Mudjckeewis’ Epic Poems, painted on the best antelope rawhide, especially prepared for us by the Tomtom tribal hunters; large, plain hieroglyphics, interspersed with beautiful illustrations—thirty in num- ber—depicting scenes from the poet’s native hunting grounds. The illustra- tions are done in three colors by Not- Afraid-to-Paint, the chief's son. The whole is wrapped in five separate Mo- jave blankets, with the titles tastef ly engrossed on outside in a special ureen juice discovered by a Choctaw artist, who works exclusively for us at a high salary. The edition of five vol- umes is limited to ten sets, each num- hered, and was prepared-at a cost of er ten thousand spear heads. We re letting it go at the ridiculously low price of one copper kettle per bundle, paid the first night of each moon. We take the risk. You take the bundles, read them, enjoy them, and remit one copper kettle each moon to Nankoma- A LITTLE BEHIND WITH -LIFE- Sits-on-a-Stump, Other-Wigwam on the Susquehanna. As a special induce- ment we are giving for a limited time only a pair of antelope horns beauti- fully —. But Christopher Columbus was a wise old bird, and seeing the fatal shadow of the coming America thrown before him, fled to the confines of his ship and set sail for other parts. Every Little Helps HEN, Y, N.H.& H.R. R, of which Mr. Charles Sanger Mel- len is president, has introduced a new idea into contemporary railroadism which, in view of the impoverished condition of all railroads, worth thinking about. Mr. Mellen now charges all passen gers detained by accidents upon his railroad for the time their baggage happens to be in storage while they are convalescing. Speaking of the recent wreck on the Valley division of the New Haven road, the Herald tells us: “Some of the recalcitrant passen- gers say that had the New Haven road advised them that the train on which they were to ride was to tuke part ina wreck, and that storage charges on tl baggage of the survivors were to be as- sessed, they would have taken another train or sent their baggage on ahead. . 2 + They figure that st might have been cheaper to have been killed in the wreck.” is “ WURRY THE RENT 477 Mr. Mellen probably goes on the principle that every accident has a sil- ver lining. Or is this the latest developm the new scientific management? Every little helps. “The enforcement of the rule in this instance will add to the unpopu- larity of a corporation never too pop- ular except with Connecticut politi- cians.” Such a thing is possible, of course, but we seriously doubt it. We doubt whether an incident of this sort cat materially increase the unpopularity of Mr. Mellen’s cailroad. Virginia ‘GLAND is getting so mussed up nowadays that it makes one re- gret that we couldn’t have kept Vir- ginia just as she was, so that the older glish pattern might be saved. Vir- ginia may not share this sentiment, be- cause she doubtless feels that, as she is, she is superior to the rest of ere tion, including even England. Which may or may not be true, but it is part of the charm of Virginia that she should think so; and it is a very Eng- lish charm. On the whole, no star in the flag is so pleased with all of its five points as Virginia. She knows she is the best It is not opinion, it is conviction—un- conscious, irrefutable, incradicable. HOM the people would destroy they first elect to office. MoTHER! HERE’s TH AN’ EVERYBODY'S AT LUNCH UP, BEACH, comicbooks.com