Life — September 14, 1911 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

erlplion an lor s, and donned a suit Of clothes, whose fit immaculate Was not a question for dispute, Whose cut was far above debate r tried, But strange my appetite behaving, A B. and S. alone supplied My feeble craving I fidgeted about the place, I smoothed my hat some twenty I almost cursed the clock’s slow p: And listened for the neighb’ chimes I stretched my gloves—ihey were 2 Of lemon kids, extremely “ fetching And so I used peculiar care About the stretching. ‘Twas past eleven when my friend Arrived, and took me ‘neath his wing, For he had promised to attend Upon me kirflly, and “to bring Me smiling to the scratch,” as Was pleased to term it, being merry ; ‘Twas quite another thing with ‘Twas diff'rent, very. We drove to Church, and there I found Myself the object of each gaze; I hardly dared to look around, I felt completely in a maze— We had to wait, I dropped my hat, Then split a glove in very flurry, Grew hot, and wished devoutly that The rest would hurry. When all was o'er, we had to face A grinning crowd’s rude gaping stare, I strove to don unconscious grace, And look as if I didn’t car We braved it out, got home, and then There came a plethora of kissin’: Of course, I took good care the men Did not join this in. THE HONE DOES IT The D. & M. Honer and Stropper hones all makes of mfety blades on a stone hone, finishes on a leather strop likethe barber. At all dealers. Price, $3.00 Complete, Prepaid Send for catalog A, ©. HAYDEN & CO, BROCKTON, MASS. For Nervous and mild Mental diseases. Has eeparate cottages for Alcohol and Drug patients. Address DR. GIVENS, Stamford, Conn. ATENTS ‘ree ntertitn ealt 7 batter, cream and eggs certain canned tay eatarvh dod deafness Wat vose Octet flan pecats, proca vegetation frultaete cored toe lava few weeks. My brain power and complexion improv avely, and 1 euconded Cally non Dillercat clasncn of foods eae Sittcrent diseases, but correct combinations cure. feng tn conta for istencive benticts (i) The, rainy Dict Cor, @ Diet vs, Droge, (3) Eifecta of Foods, (4) Key to Longevity. GH. Brinkler, Food Expert, Dept. 72," Washington, D.C. Would You Drive a Car Without Tires? It isn't much worse—only more no- ticeable—than going without rubber heels, Some people like noise, rattle, bang—sounds busy. But the auto goes faster, lasts longer, goes more easily, with quiet rubber tires. Man lasts longer and goes faster with live rubber heels. O’Sullivanize Your Walk Put a cushion of new live rubber under your heels to save your nervous system the jars and shocks from hard floors and pavements. Make Every Step an Easy One O'Sullivan's Heels are a necessity to a million people. O’Sullivan's Heels are made of live rubber—and that mes rubber, with the spring in it. $0c. attached, at any shoemaker's. i i 131 Hud: Si O'Sullivan Rubber Company "1,Hedson Street We next were victims of a meal, A melancholy sad pretence, And I thereat was made to feel How hard it is to utter sense: The carriage came at last, and we For not a single moment tarried, And driving off, it dawned on me ‘That I was marr —Somerville Gibney. Ashore Serpy Visitor: Do you have many wrecks about here, boatman? BoatMan ‘ot very many, sir, You're the first I've seen this season.—Tit-Bits, Ob, Mr. Burglar, put away Your bludgeon and your knife. Take every blessed thing I own, But spare, oh, spare, me Life as comicbooks.com