Life, 1911-08-31 · page 25 of 38
Life — August 31, 1911 — page 25: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct satirical pieces targeting early 20th-century American politics and society. **"A Little List"** parodies William Jennings Bryan's famous practice of demanding that Presidential candidates answer questions before earning his endorsement. The satire mocks progressive reformist concerns: it demands candidates limit speechmaking, refuse Hearst newspaper work, live in Washington, prioritize "the whole people" over business interests, avoid Wall Street influence, and acknowledge that military pensioners are parasites rather than heroes. The humor lies in listing absurdly principled expectations—essentially impossible standards—suggesting Bryan's demands were similarly unrealistic. **"A New Scheme"** proposes placing the tipping system under government control to reduce national debt, satirizing both the widespread reliance on tips in service industries and Progressive-era enthusiasm for government solutions to social problems. **The right illustration** titled "The Innocence of Childhood" depicts a woman reading sensational publications (Murder, Divorce, Death, etc.), satirizing media corruption and its effects on public consciousness—a common Progressive critique.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
-LIFE- 353 Will you appoint as Ambassador to England the heav- iest contributor to your election? 13. Will you admit at the start that you are going to be elected 10 as many terms of office as you possibly can? A New Scheme N° lor waiter in one of the first-class hotels in New York te: ied in court that his income from tips averaged one hundred dollars a week He received, of course, no wages fr the hotel What is well known, however, is the fact that a large pro- portion of servants or semi-public attachés are employed by syndicates, and their compensation is calculated with regard to the tips th receive. The bootblacking establishments, and in many hotels the coat check men, are all run by syndicates. Here then 1s a proposal which might do in place of soci ism or the t Why not place our tipping system under charge of the Government, the proceeds going toward reducing the national debt and for running expenses? If all the people who are naturally—and inevitably—tupped were Government officials, and if they were obliged to give up part of their ill- gotten spoils to the Government, enough ought to be realized to pay the pensions and other expenses ~ CHESTERFIELDIAN “REG PARDON, MUM, BUT IT’S ME PAINFUL DUTY T* AKKEST YE PER DISTURBIN’ THE PEACE. PERMIT MET’ OFFER YE ME ARM AS PAK AS TIT JAIL.” A Little List R. BRYAN has propounded a list of thirteen questions which every Presidential possivility must answer be fore he can be surc of Mr. Bryan's support. The following questions are not the same’ that Mr. Bryan got up, but they may serve 1. Will you keep all of your messages down to one thou- sand words? 2. Will you refuse to write for the Hearst papers? 3. Will you live in Washington nine months in the year and refuse to go stumping 4. Will you stop considering “business intere: the country and replace them by “the whole people 5. Will you arrange in emergencies to get along without Wall Street's help? 6 Will you stand by your frie nly when they de- serve it? 7. Will you read the Constitution occasionally, just to keep it in mind? $ Will you be willing to admit that ihe tariff is some- thing that we could do without? 9. Will you avoid referring to the pensioners as “that noble army of martyrs who sacrificed themselves on their country's al and refer to them simply as. parasites? 10. Will you consider any other qualification for consul to a forcign port than the fact that the man is either a jour- nalist or the author of a best seller? 11. When editors call upon you, will you entertain them sumptuously? comicbooks.com