Life, 1911-08-31 · page 24 of 38
Life — August 31, 1911 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces mocking early 20th-century American society. **"The Modern Conversationalist"** parodies people obsessed with appearing knowledgeable on every topic—from subways and suffragettes to servants, aviation, Mexican politics, and Taft's Jewish support. The speaker boasts of endless expertise while admitting inability to stay silent, satirizing vapid cocktail-party chatter and superficial intellectualism. **"Good Bye, New Friends"** attacks the American Medical Association's campaign against osteopaths and alternative healers. The author argues doctors monopolize healthcare for profit, warning that eliminating competition will result in forced vaccinations and serum treatments benefiting undertakers, not patients. **"Socially Desirable"** ironically argues that both idle rich and poor tramps serve society by providing employment to police, judges, and reformers. The satire suggests society benefits from maintaining poverty and crime rather than solving them. The cartoon "Quick Lunch" (bottom) depicts a crowded, chaotic luncheon scene, presumably illustrating the sensory overload and absurdity contemporary Life readers found humorous.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
352 -LIFE: The Modern Conversationalist © you wish to know of subways? [ have got ‘em on my list. I can draw a detinition of a suffragette or gist. On the scarcity of servants I’ve a splendid line of talk. I can imitate a hobble or a harem skirter’s walk. Just what biplanes are the safest and what autos are the best I can tell you quite correctly. Are you looking for a crest? I'm a guide to lords and dukelets. Do you know just what to eat? For each dietetic programme I’ve an up-to-date receipt lam up on socialism, and where other talkers f: 1 can give you all the reasons why the magnates aren’t in jail I have studied children’s labor, and I have the latest news Of Hertzian waves and Mexico and why Taft loves the Jews, What magazincs are selling, every baseball player's name, And the literary people who've achieved the largest shame. T know all the best head waiters, and it is my modest boast That the restaurants I favor are the ones who rob you most. Do you wish to know of woman? I can talk or I can sing Of her praises or her errors without telling anything 1 can talk of books and music and of bridge and golf and art, I can dilate on the classics and all matters of the heart. I can chatter, I can flatter or do anything you will But be quiet for a moment—for I simply can’t keep still! ° G ° ° Good Bye, New Friends! N an article in the Tiventicth Century Magazine Mr. B. 0. Flower says: _ Hence all over the country the American Medical Asso- ciation be w the osteopaths. Happily for the cause of progress, the simple cures made by the new method where old-school doctors had signally failed, prevented the success of the privilege-secking doctors in many States Sul the battle is raging. Which mea t the Medical Association is trying its best to ereate ional Board of Health, to be controlled by the old school, Then good-by osteopath, homcopath, mental and Christian Science healers! re will be an orgie of serum drugs and vaccination to bring joy to the dullest undertaker. It will not be for you, Ignorant Parent, to choose the man of your own school, vither for yourself or your children Socially Desirable WE have been taught by potitcal economists thot the rich are socially desirable, because they make work for ive employment to others. If they went to work, or curtailed their needs, they would be selfish in thus depriving others of the blessed privileges of toil. By the same sign the idle poor are also socially desirable, and, therefore, we need have nothing but complacence over the so-called tramp problem, Tramps give employment to policemen, detectives, jud court attaches, prison guards, settlement workers, charity © perts, reformers and many others Let us be careful how we denounce them, lest we upset the whole fabric of criminology “QUICK LUNCH" AS IT SEEMS TO A SENSITIVE NATU} comicbooks.com