Life, 1911-08-24 · page 16 of 40
Life — August 24, 1911 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"Blaming It on the Engineer"** critiques railroad president Charles Sanger Mellen's safety negligence. After a train derailment near Bridgeport killed thirteen passengers, the railroad blamed engineer Curtis. However, the Coroner's inquest contradicted this, finding Curtis operated correctly but lacked critical information about track crossovers. The Coroner's report recommends two engineers on fast trains to prevent signal failures—a safety measure Mellen likely won't implement because it costs money. The satire attacks Mellen's indifference to passenger welfare and his company's habit of scapegoating workers rather than addressing systemic safety failures. **"Victory"** jokes about divorce settlements. A woman celebrates winning her suit, listing her gains: absolute separation, alimony payments, and—notably—custody of the dog. The humor lies in the modern assumption that custody battles prioritize children; here, the dog's custody appears equally or more significant than spousal arrangements, satirizing contemporary divorce culture's absurdities. The page's title, "They That Are First Shall Be Last," appears to reference the preceding article about financial scheming.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
*>LOEPE: THEY THAT ARE FIRST SHALL BE LAST scll it for that price the emotion of making two hundred dollars.” “But why don’t you come in and share the possible emo- tion of making two hundred dollars?” “Oh, no. It's too risky. I am a poor man and cannot afford such chances. I have in hand, thanks to y tion of making you a fifty dollar gift, with further possibili- without additional risk or investment. That for mine, ink you! I cleave to that, and am your grateful debtor. *What I gave I have, what I bet I lost.’ Take the junk, and when the leading authority in junk has persuaded you that it has no value, fetch it back to hold my gum-bands again and he a perpetual reminder that you conferred upon me the ability to make you a fifty dollar gift ELS. M. the emo- Blaming It on the Engineer R. CHARLES SANGER MELLEN is president of the New York, New Haven & Hartford Railroad. There are rumors to the effect that Mr. Mellen is not popular. Per- haps this is due to the fact that Mr. Mellen has never laid awake nights considering the welfare of his passengers. Recently there was an accident on the New Haven Rail- road, in which there was a trifling loss of life—some thir- teen persons or so, who had entrusted themselves to Mr. Mellen’s care. The conductor of the train which ran off the track at Bridgeport is Michael Furey. Curtis was the engineer, He was killed, and, strange to say, the Coroner disagrees with the railroad in believing that he was not altogether to blame. Here is what Furey, the conductor, testified, according to the Coroner's finding “No information was given to Furey or Curtis as to where the crossover was to be made, and the engineer had to be guided entirely by the signals on the roadside. Furey says Curtis made the stop all right and that he handled bis train *just as good as anyone.’ The Coroner calls attention in his finding to the fact that the railroad company makes no practical difference between the running of fast trains and ordinary trains. The Coroner also says that in his opinion, and in spite of the railroad com- contention to the contrary, every fast train ought to have two engineers. He says: “. .. the chances of failure to observe signals would be greatly minimized by two engineers in the cab and both required to observe signals. This would particularly apply to fast trains.” Probably Mr. Mellen will not agree with the Coroner about having two engineers on fast trains, or that short crossovers are dangerous; all those improvements cost money. Victory O you won your divorce suit?” asks the friend. “Oh, y " happily answers the woman. “I got an ab- solute separation, with alimony, and the court awarded me the custody of the dog, to E history of any country would shame the record of A SURE THING : MEADS I WIN, TAILS THEY LOSE comicbooks.com