Life — August 17, 1911 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AROUND THE WORLD CRUISES THE CHANCE OF A LIFE TIME ON THE S.S. CLEVELAND (17,000 tons) There are new scenes, new faces in the Old World to interest you. um cost, $6.00 per day. Itinerary includes Madeira, Spain, Italy, Egypt, India, Ceylon, Straits Settlements, Java, Philippines, China, Japan, Sandwich Islands, and Overland American Tour, Inland Excursions, and side trips. Optional tours of 17°days in India, 14 days in Japan. Each of 110 days duration. From New York, October 21, 1911. From San Francisco, February 6, 1912. Now is the time to engage accommodations. The finest, most comprehensive pleasure trip ever offered. Cost, including all necessary = expenses aboard and ashore $650 § ANNUAL EVENT “/sound the World cess ia October, 1912 and Febroary, 1913, by the large Cruis- ing Steamship VICTORIA LUISE. Send for illustrated booklet HAMBURG-AMERICAN LINE 41-45 BROADWAY NEW YORK The Sanity of Specialization The spread of “expertitis” in every department of human knowledge and skill has long called for a remedy It is a more dangerous disease probably than “gi The victims of the la many-sided in their feneralizing that they hold one another steadily m check. But “ expertitis” has such eccentric tendencies. Going now with a rush this way, now with a rush that, and with little or no opposition at any time, it runs its course in any of its. directions before the experts dis- cover their mistake. Of course no one from the outside can help; first, because most persons think of expertitis as a fetish for worship ra na disease ind second, © victims obtrusive ignorance.— Chicago Publ The above may be a slight attack of ingitis,” but on the whole it seems to be pretty sa Mrs. Chameleon: om, pear! witat COLOK SMALL 1 WEAR TO-DAY? The Daintiest of Perfumes Use less than a 9 % LES, ae Dyers Kerkoff, the master perfumer of Paris, makes Djer-Kiss perfume. Your own good taste will approve it. Extract, Sachet, Face & Taleum Powder Aiall deters, Send 6c. for Sample of Extract Alfred H. Smith Co., 41 West 33d St., New York _ Avon or HOWOK > ben up spake the Mayor of Bobokeny vor wee x ae Sve PPLAYING. eUsieps tee scremerce, The saad of the Br z Dent RADCLIFFE & CO.. 144 Peart 8t. New York NEVER-NEVER-LAND KENNELS Miss Mary Winthrop, Owner French Bull Dogs Puppies and Grown Dogs FOR From only Registered and ‘Blue- Ribbon Stock. | SHELTER ISLAND HEIGHTS, Telephone, 47 Shelter Island. mm Cu. Cuantewaoxe The Tale of Two Bores One of the cluk bores (there were two) had entered, and the other mem- bers, like started fish .n an aquarium, were scattering silently fither and thither, hiding as Lest they could in nooks and crannies, behind mosses and palms. Thus in the grill room, behind a cop- per-colored screen, one member spoke to the other. “Yesterday,” he whispered, “he told me a long, ponderously humorous story, with all the awftl details. What agony I suffered! The climax loomed ahead, but oh! the way was long and dreary!” “That's his specialty,” said the other mber “No one excells him in the length and tediousness of nis funny sto- ries Put—have you met the other “ What other?” “Why the other professional bore. There ate two. Our club has been pe- culiarly branded by fate. We have a double dose. Oh! the other—if such a thing can be—is worse than this one. His specialty 13 intimate personal reve- lations You should hear his des of an illness he once had.” The other man shuddered. His com- panion suddenly gripped kis arm, “There!” he muttered, “there he is now, looking about fer some one to de- your.” “Do they know each other?” “T chink no! The other man chuckled softly “The chance of our lives,” be ex- claimed. We may save the club yet Let us brave the consequences. Let us Lring them together” Inspired with this ‘dea, they sallied forth from their retreat, They marched boldly up to the enemy. “Come, sir, there is a man you must meet. He is one of your kind.” They dragged him upstairs. The other bore $ sitting alone in the library, calmly smoking, waiting for a victim. Here, sir, let me present——.” “This gentleman has long wanted to mect you. He is Mr.—-.” “Yes, sir, now sit down and enjoy each other, We must be going. We have engagements.” In the excitement the two members, with masterly generalship, beat a hurried retreat. And they le those two ::th bores to- gether—to have it out. When they had mentally clinched, so to speak, the members, ene by one, stow ly and cautiously emerged from their hiding places. The bores talked on. The evening shadows began to fall. “It's going to be a draw,” whispered one member. “Now is the time to make books on the finals,” said anoth said the third, “to have our annual club dinner—with- comicbooks.com