Life, 1911-07-06 · page 32 of 44
Life — July 6, 1911 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Life* magazine (a satirical publication) contains several humor pieces typical of the era: **"Our Foolish Contemporaries"** presents four brief satirical anecdotes mocking social pretenses and marital attitudes. The jokes ridicule men who justify circus visits to avoid wives, widowers eager to remarry, and someone feigning brain fatigue for status. **"Some Colloquialisms for Up-to-Date Romance"** parodies modern romantic language as awkwardly overwrought—phrases like "she looked hatpins at him" and "kissed hygienically" satirize how contemporary romance writers affected pseudo-sophisticated diction. **"The Plumber Who Took the Plum"** is a humorous anecdote about a plumber called to an emergency who discovers someone has connected pipes incorrectly, causing the chandelier to spray water and the bathroom tap to shoot flames—physical comedy highlighting incompetence. The remainder consists of period advertisements (Gordon Gin, Panhard Oil) and patent notices—typical magazine filler. The satire targets affectation, foolish behavior, and mangled modern speech rather than specific political figures.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
INY GORDON ORY GIN -JUICE OFA LIME DNY RASPBERRY SYRUP— OR /2 LEMON pee His Real Reason Daniel entered the lions “Not that I care for the circus my: explained, “it's just to take —Harper's Bozar. Looking Forward 5: We've missed you ve: ach ; you haven't been to the club since your wife died. Boxes: Well, don't worry, I shall marry again —M. A, P. other day he suffering from brain fag. , the flatterer! —Baltimore American. NERO ‘Then up spake the shade of old Nero, “Yd lke to breathe once more in zero. A TE N TS See Mer okvep Send sketch for free search of Patent OfFce Re Obtains Patect and What tolavent with list of Inventions wanted aents advertived [eee Order One— While Enjoying Life! y I SLICE OF ORANGE — AERATED WATER CRACKED ICE — Some Colloquialisms for Up-to-Date Romance Rather than become your wife I would make the best of the husband [ have! A rapturous outburst from the pianola held him spielbound. He recalled having met her on her first twenty-third birthday. His parents were rich but respectable As she weighed his words the scales fell from her eyes. A steely look came into the eyes of the young ironmaster. She patted him on his hobbies Her arch smile bridged the way to an understanding. She looked hatpins at him. Her tears fell harmlessly on his cravenette. And they lived happily even afterward. 7 kissed hygienically. —C. C. Johnston in Smart Set. The Plumber Who Took the Plum “You're wanted,” said the small boy “Who wants me?” demanded the plumber. 137—the house you've just come Do they think I can work all hours ay?" retorted the plumber. “You'd better come,” persisted the small hoy stoutly, “or itll be too late. hysterics, and pa’s gone nearly here, sonny!” asked the plumb V's up? “Welk, I think you've connected the wrong pipes, or something,” boy. “Anyhow, the chandelier in the parlor is. spi a replied the the bathroom tap's on fire! One (1) pony: glass, before meals, 278 Broad St. 3B Best . Gen'l Distrs. LARGE GLASS Eminently Respectable “Is he respectable? “Eminently so. He's never been in dicted for anything less than stealing a railroad." —IVasp. “Wuat a strangely interesting face your friend the poct has,” gurgled the maiden of forty. “It seems to possess all the elements of happiness and sor- row, each struggling for supren Yes, he looks to me like an was married and didn’t know the Cynical Bachelor. —Philadelphia Record. Down To The Last Drop PANHARD ( OIL is is a perfect motor lubricant, It has been scientifically worked out by sin the oil business, and will not care bonize if properly used. A good oil means ererything to, y Hy ask for a “good Lubricant ur motor, Don't he safe way is to Special “Help Sell” Plan, GEORGE A. HAWS, 69 Pine St., New York 1 118 ig ant with | proac! supply #U advan debt “y “D he sh “H childh caucu “H jt eo0d things. Rappy ou d Just the tt OUTDOOR AL Au HLEVANS comicbook Mee |