Life — July 6, 1911 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*LIFE» The Rope of Ocnus CNUS, the Greek, through years of wedded life, Worked hard, but fruitlessly (so we have learned), To gain a modest fortune, which his wife Spent foolishly as fast as it was earned. At last, worn out with toil, he sought his friend, The famous Polygnotus: “ Paint for me A picture that shall serve a useful end, And teach my spendthrift wife economy!” The artist thereupon a man portrayed Weaving a rope of straw with weary hands; While close behind him stood an ass, who brayed With joy as she devoured the luscious strands. ‘The lesson was not lost; the giddy spouse, Quite cured, became a housewife good and true. Is there a “rope of Ocnus” in your house? And if there is one—at which end are you? Willis Boyd Alten, Catholic Complications in Maine A episode that scems to deserve a larger share of pub- lic attention than it has been getting is the restless- ness of the French-Canadian Catholics in New England under the ecclesiastical government of the Irish bishops. It is very interesting. These French Catholics come down into all parts of New England and proceed to the enjoyment of their religion as far as they can, but seem not to find it al together enjoyable nor quite the same as it was at home. The liveliest situation is that in Maine. In that State there are 91,000 French-Canadian residents, constituting two-thirds of all the Catholics in the State. When the bishopric of Port- land last fell vacant they petitioned the Pope to give them a French bishop, but other counsels prevailed and they got Bishop Walsh, who, like all the rest of his right-reverend brethren in New England, is an Irishman. They don't like it. What they are used to does not appear, but it must be something different from what they get from Bishop Walsh: They scem to want “rights,” to own their own churches, have French spoken in their parochial schools, and have a voice in the selection of their spiritual rulers. Some of them have been to the Maine Legislature asking for the abolition of corporations-sole, so that Bishop Walsh may not be the visible and legal owncr of their church property. The Bishop has interdicted some of their leaders from church privileges, hut their protest goes on with abundant sympathy and coun- sel from the French-Canadian priests, This is a very interesting and unusual condition. If these people were Protestants and were not pleased with their spir- itual masters, they would bolt and set up for themselves. In Massachusetts, we believe, several French-Canadian congre- uations have actually done so and turned Baptists, but in Maine the aggrieved are still sending messengers to the Pope and asking to be succored. O profound is the interest, of Emperor William in every thing archwological that When an ancient temple is ex- cavated at Corfu he spends hour after hour in the closest observation of every detail unearthed. His Majesty, if we are to believe the London Standard, has embodied his ob- servations in a report written at length by his own hand. The Smperor’s antiquarian proclivities find their happiest expres- sion, however, in his political ideas. Husbands, Suffer No More! Summer is Coming and Here's a Unique and Practical Plan to Keep Yourselves in Health and Spirits — Manager of H. C. B. De- nounces a Former Wife—Merely an Incident N returning from our honeymoon, we learned that one of our former wives had taken advantag! of our absence to establish a Wives’ Corr spondence Bureau, for the purpose of treating all ladies whose married life is not happy. This is intended, of course, to be a direct slap at us and at the same time to get away as much of our business as possible. The lady claims that she has had an opportunity to familiar- ize herself with our secret methods of curing wives and will apply these same methods to the cure of husbands, All dis- tressed and unhappy women are advised to, communicate with her at once. We understand that she has worked up quite a temporary trade, and from the bottom of our heart we wish her all suc- cess. Knowing her boundless capacity for making trouble, we feel casy now that she is in a position where she can mal as little of it as possible. She has, we understand, imitated some of our leading f tures, advertising an Entertainment Committee, which gives dove and bridge parties, and even goes so far as to teach ladies to smoke cigarettes on the sly, in hopes that this will bring their husbands to their senses. She also has engaged a tall, handsome matinee idol, who will receive all patrons. We refer to this incident as illustrating how easy it is to copy the outward semblance of an idea, without in any way encroaching upon its spirit and substance. Our fundamental principle—namely, that you must make husbands happy, must give them an opportunity to sce the world in all its varying moods, in order that eventually they may be glad to settle down home, and also, while this process is going on, their wives at the same time are becoming awak- ened to their own shortcomings—all this, we say, is some- thing that only a master hand can manipulate. — Little shades of meaning, little matters of individual tempera- SER THE WORLD IN ALL ITS VARYING Moons comicbook