Life, 1911-06-22 · page 26 of 44
Life — June 22, 1911 — page 26: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct satirical pieces from *Life* magazine: **"Innocent Victims"** (left): A poem by Carolyn Wells mocking parental negligence during Fourth of July celebrations. It criticizes parents who give children firecrackers and dangerous fireworks despite annual safety warnings, suggesting the solution is to make the punishment so severe that parents themselves suffer injury. **"Let Only Sellers Beware"** (right): Sharp political commentary on vote-buying corruption in Adams County, Ohio. Judge Blair prosecuted citizens who *sold* their votes but refused to prosecute those who *bought* them—claiming buyers acted from sincere party loyalty. The satire highlights the hypocrisy: Blair himself was allegedly charged with vote-buying. Life's commentary mocks the absurd moral framework that excuses wealthy/powerful vote-buyers while punishing poor vote-sellers, and suggests the scheme allows politicians to fine voters into disfranchisement, ensuring they can't vote against them next election. Both pieces use bitter humor to expose corruption and double standards in American civic life.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BIRD'S-EVE Innocent. Victims HERE is an adage wise and old, One of those homely saw: “A burnt child dreads the fire,” we're told, And surely he has cause! Yet though the child his lesson learnt, This thought must rouse our ire; The parents of the child that’s burnt, Don’t seem to dread the fire! Though every year we advocate Fourths that are safe and sane, Those parents madly celebrate— Our warnings are in vain. Firecrackers, rockets, pistols, caps, They give their children small; We cannot blame the little chaps, It's not their fault at all. So, though a burnt child dreads the fire, "Tis small good that will do; We must invent some firearms dire That burn the parents, too! Carolyn Wells. STANDING ROOM ONLY VIEW OF LITTLE OLD ENGLAND ON CORONATION DAY Let Only Sellers Beware AVEAT EMPTOR doesn't apply to traffic in votes. Judge Blair, of Adams County, Ohio, recently became half a hero by fining and disfranchising nearly two thousand citizens who had sold their votes. When it was suggested to him that he become a whole hero by prosecuting also those who bought the votes, he re- plied as follows: “I prosecuted the vote seller only. In the first place he was easier to catch. In the second place the buyer, I believe, was honest. I mean by this that he was working for his party. His attempt to buy votes was a sincere effort, ac- cording to his light, to help his side, while the seller had no principle nor even a party loyalty to back him.” When we add to this statement the fact that Judge Blair is himself charged by affidavit with being one of the buyers, we find ourselves in a most amusing moral pickle. But Judge Blair seems to be in too deep to see the joke, or maybe he is re- serving his laughter for his sleeve. It is a great scheme and contains the data for an interesting treatise on “ How To Get and Keep Office.” To synopsize: First, have money; second, be loyal to a (Republican) party; third, pay money for votes; fourth, get the money back through fines; fifth, disfranchise the voters so they can’t vote against you next time; sixth, consult the devil and have him quote a bit, of Scripture to jus- tify the whole proceeding. Even the recall of judges wouldn't work against a judge who saw the voters first and recalled them. Possibly we may be pardoned for poetizing. How would this do? Fine the weak and fine the wee, But let the big and strong go free. Or this: IN fares the land and for the madhouse fit, Where big bugs moralize and the weak submit. | comicbooks.com