Life — March 30, 1911 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Good By Injunction A big negress came before a Virginia judge the other day, seeking redress for domestic troubles. “T's a wronged woman,” she declared in a give-me-back-my-child-you-villain tone, “an’ I wants redress fru’ dis yere co't.” “Tell me about your trouble,” said the kind-hearted judge. “It's about mah ole man. He's done in’ on plumb scannalous wif a lot of deese yeh young niggah gals, an’ it’s got so ba’ad twill I don’ see him no moah'n once a week. Sompin’s gottah be did 1” “Him! I see,” said the judge. “ You are seeking a divorce—a legal separ- ation—is that it?” “Go ‘long, man! Divo'ce nothin’! Think I's gwine t’ gib him what he wants, and ‘low dat man who, ‘spite all his cussedness, is de han'somest niggah in Coon Tree Holler, t’ go skyhootin’ ‘roun’ ‘mong dem little yaller gals? N’, sah! I doan’ want no divo'ce, n’r dat legal septitution you-all’s talkin’ about. N’, sah, jedge; what I wants is an in- junction.” —Lippincott’s. The Correct Answer “Suppose,” asked the professor in chemistry, “that you were summoned to the side of a patient who had accident- ally swallowed a heavy dose of oxalic acid, what would you administer?” The student, who, studying for the ministry, took chemistry because it was obligatory in the course, replied: “I would admin- ister the sacrament."—Cosmopolitan. built with true lines, perfect style and harmonizing with its surroundings, is what has made the Springfield Portable Garage popular with architects and builders, property owners sod rent, cl bh Specified It is the only portable Garage. Specified as STANDARD Ball the leading architects, We use the best material that can be procured and employ only skilled workmen in their manu- facture. Painted any color. Guaranteed wind proof and rain proof. Shipped complete. Freight prepaid. Send for catalog and prices. SPRINGFIELD PORTABLE HOUSE CO. $0 Church Street, - =) New York, N. Y. Factory at Springfield, Mass. The water that keeps you well. wrt causes rheumatism, gout, and Bright’s disease? Why do stones form in the kidneys and gall-duct? Why is there so much sickness in wintcr and early spring? Doctors tell us it is largely because people do not drink the right kind of water, and enough of it. There’s a spring in Virginia that sends up a delightful water,—pure, clear and soft, but with hardly any peculiar taste. You might drink it for years without noticing any- thing about it, unless it occurred to you to wonder why you never had trouble with your liver, kidneys, or bladder,—no gout, no rheumatism, no dyspepsia, no headaches, no diges- tive or nervous troubles, such as your friends complain of. Quite likely you might not think of the water as the cause at all, Most people are not wise enough to keep on drinking when it merely Leeps them well. In fact, people rarely ask what makes them well until they get sick. Are you wise enough to use Buffalo Lithia Springs Water merely because when you do you stay well? Borraro Lrrnta Sraixcs Wareris a natural mineral water, from the his- toric Buffalo Lithia Springs in Vir- ginia. Itisknown the world over forits peculiar medicinal powers, especially in rheumatism, gout, gravel, diabetes, Bright’s disease, call-stones, and all diseases caused by uric acid. It is bottled in a modern sanitary plant richt at the springs, just as it bubbles from the rock, pure and unadulterated, under the direction of a competent bacteriologist. It is put up in new sterilized half. gallon bottles, which are never refilled. Each cork bears a srau with this ‘TRADE-MARK stamped on it, It is sold everywhere by leading druggists, grocers, and mineral water devers, Write ro-pay for booklet telling what this water has done for people with your trouble. If not on s-le near you, write us, giv- ing your dealer's name, and we will see that you are supplicd. Ovaranteed under the Pure Pood and Drw ect, June 59, 1H, Berial Ne. 15055. “a1, retitows! THERE MUST BE ANOTHER FLOOD COMING.” comicbooks.com