Life, 1911-03-09 · page 31 of 44
Life — March 9, 1911 — page 31: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and light verse**, not political satire. The content includes: **Main Features:** - **Tecla Pearls advertisement**: Promotes artificial pearls that rival natural ones in quality - **"Ballade of Remembrance"**: A humorous poem about a writer's frustration with rejection—he consoled himself by repeatedly claiming "I once had a poem in Life" (the magazine itself), treating past publication as his sole credential - **Abbott's Bitters & Sexology book ads**: Standard period advertising - **Star Safety Razor ad**: Highlighting product features and a satisfaction guarantee **The Humor:** The poem gently mocks aspiring writers and the publishing world. The speaker uses his single past publication in *Life* as a badge of honor to silence successful competitors, treating it like an unbeatable trump card. It's self-deprecating humor about literary ambition and the competitive anxieties of writers—relatable to *Life*'s educated readership. The page contains **no identified political figures or current events commentary**—it's entertainment and commercial content typical of 1920s magazine publishing.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
vn Tecla’s Artificial Gems TECLA PEARLS are successfully rivalling their confreres of nature. Many a story, more interesting than any related in fiction, could we unfold of the copies we have achieved of celebrated jewels, so perfect in de- tail, color and all the subtle little unevennesses of nature, as to deceive not merely the owner cf the original piece, but also the cleverest of experts. The color of Professor Tecla’s Pearls is nature's very own, and therein lies the great strength of his position. TECLA NEW YORK PARIS 398 Fifth Avenue 10 Rue de la Paix LONDON NICE 7 Old Bond Street 16 Avenue Masséna No other Branches or Agents Ballade of Remembrance HOUGH editors send me regrets On cards that are oblong and white— (I know that the fiends have their pets And take everything that they w Though it may be feeble and trite!) Yet this is my song through the strife: Tam not an amateur quite— Tonce had a poem in Lire. Whene’er some successful one frets My soul till I'm tempted to fight By telling of all that he gets For poetry brilliant and bright, I draw myself up to my height; With words that should cut like a knife T tell the vainglorious wigh “Tonce had a poem in Lire! His pomp and his pride this upsets, It severs the string of his kite; You Can’t Go Wrong When You Buy A STAR. There Are Five Reasons Why. 1. STAR Blades are forged from the finest Sheffield steel. They are hand made and individually made through- out. You can’t get a better blade. They take a marvelously keen edge— and keep it. Many STAR blades have been used constantly for over twenty years. STAR Blade Clip is self-adjusting. It insures always perfect alignment of the blade. No other safety razor has this necessary device. STAR Lather Cup affords ample room for the accumulation of lather while shaving. If you have ever used the ordinary safety razor you know the convenience this means. STAR Frame Hinges make clean- ing easy and quick. Fingers are not plastered with lather. Razor is always clean. Simply turn back the frame and run water through it. Then snap into place again. STAR Guarantee means that if you are not satisfied with a STAR you purchase, you can send it direct to us and have it replaced or your money refunded, as you wish. You take no risk when you buy. The STAR must make good. If your dealer doesn’t sell the STAR, write us PRICE, AS Other Styles from $1.50 to $20. KAMPFE BROTHERS 8-12 Reade St. New York City = SIO SEER Ron A Happy Marriage Depends largely on a knowl- edge of the Thole truth about self and sex and their relation to life and health, ‘This knowledge does not come intelligently of itself, nor correctly from ordinary The muse with me seldom coquets— I once had a poem in Lir Sellem Knott. every-day sources. It shows that ballades, triolets, Ss And epics of strength and of might EXOLOGY T could do for folk to recite, bop (Mlustratea’ That I with ideas am rife Rainn 1 Wailonee ALD., imparts in a clear, Which I only wait to indite— “Where,” asks the New York Herald, in Should Have. T once had a poem in Lire. “was Gifford Pinchot when the light L’ENvor went out?" os: My fountain pen gushes and jets He seems to have been getting another Rrowledce a Young Woman Shan ‘As though the ink came through a fife, natch.—Chicogo Record-Herald. c tee a Young Wife Should Hay — Mai Have. en er SI t = " t Wite shoud Haves 9 Makes the best cocktail A pleasing aromatic with all AMednone volume. inustrated, 8 postpaid, Msc. sire and soda beverigs reeling, cath: it ine Merchants or Druggists. &. y it, 25e tm Puritan Pub. Co., 776 Perry Bldg., Phila., Pa. lh i 6S. We. ANROTE CO.; Maltimere, MeL 503 comicbooks.com