Life — March 9, 1911 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘alo EAE! Husbands’ Correspondence Bureau T would scarcely be human for a suc- cessful enterprise like ours not to be assailed with calumny, not only by en- vious rivals, but also by those misguided women whose husbands we have actually cured, and who, because we have per- formed this valuable service, seem to consider that we have done them harm. Fortunately, we have probed every fem- inine characteristic, and the flings of our feminine friends no longer excite us; but in order that our own friends and paying customers may understand that there is no truth in any of the stories floating around about this bureau, we take pleas- ure in disposing of a few of the more flagrant ones. For example, there is nothing in the recent report that we have started a model-homes village, where an alleged tempt was supposed to have been made to produce a kind of altruistic com- munity, made up of materials that have been through our bureau. We have never known a community like this to be a success, and we do not flatter our- selves that we could make it so, even with a lot of our cured customers. Neither is there any truth in the rumor that we have decided to reopen our branch office in Boston. We frankly admit that we have never had much suc- cess in Boston, and never had any am- bition to make a wholesale curing of the Boston husband. We are satisfied to let him yo bis own way, and hope that he will get all that is coming to him. The other day we got a letter from a Boston man, who offered us five dollars if we could cure his case, and who concluded that if we wanted any more, he didn’t think it was worth it. There are too many Christian Scientists and suffragettes in Boston to make it worth our while. Another report that we take great pleasure in throttling is that the women of the middle west have risen en masse against our methods, and formed a cabal against us. Tke truth is that the women of the middle west have always been our ardent sup- have A Word to Our Critics “WE HAVE NEVER IAD MUCH SUCCESS IN Boston!” porters, once they have understood the true import of our great work. Onl: yesterday we received a long and inter- esting letter from a lady in Keoku". AFTER TREATMENT lowa, which read (in part) as follows: Dear sirs:—I have just learned that my husband has been cured in your Bureau. 1 may say that before this happened, he was mean and stingy, and didn’t seem to under- stand the use of’ money at all, but I under- stand that during his last visit to New York he was under the care of your entertain: ment committee. Since his return he has developed habits of spending that are won- deriul, I wish to say that it makes no dif- ference to me what happened to him while under your care—it was worth any price to have brought him to his present reckless state. We leave for Paris to-night. If I have time I shall stop in at your office and tender my thanks to the tall handsome blonde who is, I believe, in charge of your enter: tainments, = ° * * Fk This, we need hardly say, is the right spirit; which leads us to remark that we wish there were more women in the world like that. So far, however, from this being true, we regret to be obliged to bring up a purely personal matter, but inasmuch as we are engaged in answer- ing our critics we may as well dispose of it now. From time to suffragettc quarters, it has been basely stated that not only have we ourselves engaged in the matrimonial venture several times, but that we have always had trouble, and our present wife has been trying to get rid of us for a number of years. These alleged facts of course are glee- fully dragged out in order to prove that a man like this is incapable of conduct- ing a successful Husbands’ Correspond- ence Bureau. tirely aside from the merits of the case, we are happy to state that history points to another moral. Men who have made failures in their own individual cases, have on numerous occasions heen eminently successful as eaders of others. We might, for in- stance, mention Solomon, who went into the matri monial business on a large scale, and scored the most gigantic failure on record, and yet his ad- vice is to this day un- equalled. We may say that we are ourselves con- stantly cdified by the perusal of his works, The truth is that we have been too busy work ing for the stricken and unforturiate husbands of time, in comicbooks.com