Life, 1911-01-12 · page 32 of 44
Life — January 12, 1911 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements and light humor pieces**, not political satire. The main content includes: **Advertisements**: Hunter Whiskey (50 years of popularity), Buffalo Lithia Springs Water (marketed for gout and rheumatism), and evening wear with button-on ties. **Humor pieces**: Brief anecdotes mocking human folly—a maid admiring classical art for practical reasons ("easy to dust"), an actor rejecting a playwright's script by burning manuscripts as fuel, and ethnic humor about immigrants choosing "Yousheenie" as a baby name. **Poetry parodies**: Playful retellings of "Three Wise Men of Gotham," treating the nursery rhyme literally. The satire is gentle and domestic rather than political. The "foolish contemporaries" section gently ridicules pretension, bureaucratic absurdity, and social climbing. There are no identifiable political figures or events referenced—this reflects Life's era as a general-audience humor and culture magazine.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PEELED 50 YEARS OF UNPRECEDENTED POPULARITY IS THE INVINCIBLE RECORD OF Sold at all first-class cafes and by jobbers. x) HUNTER WHISKEY WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore. Md. Fame Knicxer: Is Jones famous? Bocxer: He is among the also fic —Brooklyn L In a Pinch, use ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE, Undying Charm Norah had lived as parlor maid in an artistic family for six months. It seemed to Miss Aurclia only natural that Norah should have developed some love of art in that time. One day she dis- covered the little maid, dust-cloth in hand, gazing at the Venus of Milo. “Do you like her best of all, Norah?” asked Miss Aurelia. “Sure an’ I do, mi: said Norah, warmly, “She may not look quite so nate wid her arrms gone, but she’s so aisy to doost, I fair love her!" —Youth’s Companion. \OUR~ FOOLISH _CONTEMPO ARIES — moe Red-Hot Plays “Tt is a tremendous undertaking to get a new play accepted and produced,” ence said the late Clyde Fitch to a friend. “So many are written, and so few ever see the light of day. An Eng- lish playwright with a gift of humorous exaggeration illustrated this fact to me once, He told me how he submitted a play to a celebrated actor, and how in the course of the conversation the actor remarked: Don’t you think it is growing chilly in this room?’ . Yes, it is, rather,’ the young play- t admitted. “Then the actor rang a bell and a sorvant forthwith appeared. “* James,’ said the actor, ‘this room is rather cold, You may put three more manusoripts on the fire!'"—Lippincott’s, ‘| i | 1 i i i Caroni Bitters—Best Tonic and Appetizer. No home com- Iplete without i. Sample on receipt of 25 cents, Se Blache & Co., 78 Broad St., N. Y., Gen'l Distrs, Tue mother of a girl baby, herself named Rachel, told her husband that she was tired of the good old names borne by most of the feminine members of the family, and she would like to give the little girl a name entirely different. She wrote on a slip of paper, “ Eugenie,” and asked her husband if he didn’t think that was a pretty one. The father studied the name for a mo- ment and then said: “Vell, call her Yousheenie, but I don’t see vat you gain by it.” —Town and Céuntry, INVESTORS READ The Wall Street Journal - BUFFALO LITHIA SPRINGS WATER Guaranteed by Buffalo Lithia Springs Water Co., under the Food and Drugs Aet, June 80, 1908, Prescribed by Physicians for URIC ACID, GOUT, RHEUMATISM, DIABETES, ETC. From Strauss Magazine Theatre Programs N_ “who live in their evening clothes,” as distinguished from those to whom the wear- ing of evening dress is an event, prefer the tie with the “ button-on"’ tabs to any other. It has the only correct principle for making the even- ing tie secure against sliding. All other ties with clips, fasteners, tapes and like devices aimed to hold fast in front are ‘‘mussy" and impractical. They come back from the laundry misshapen and often in sreds. Nothing could be simpler than to fasten the “button-on”’ tie. It is looped just like a collar and cannot become undone, Just button it on and forget. ts the Fevfect Dress ie She he Util. She Bullorrone- Tale 136 As It Might Have Been Three wise men of Gotham Went to sea in a bowl— If the bowl had been stronger My story’d been longer. —Mother Goose. They sailed, the three wise men of Gothum, ‘Mid waves that would spray 'em and froth 'em; A bowl such as people put soup in They chose for their spirits to droop in— No one has from that day to this met This unlucky trio. ’Twas kismet! —Robert Browning And they were three and they were w (A dim, deep dark at the end of day!) And fain would journey on high empri Where lift the tints of the tropic sk But now, alas, to our hai The hollow echo alone replies. (A dim, dark deep at the end of day!) —Dante Gabriel Rossetti. Thou, too, sail on, O Bowl of State, With no attendant spoon or plate. Sail with the wise men of New York And skim the waves like any cork. The three wise men who cannot swim, With courage great, with courage grim, Are hanging breathless on thy rim. —Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. (Chicago Evening Post.) GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER 50 cents per caso of @ glass stoppered bottles comicbooks.com