Life — January 5, 1911 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Deacon: ctory! Grory! See the Automobilist! “QEE the Automobilist!" “You command me to do the im- possible, O Sage, for, in the first place, he was going so fast that I could not see him, and, in the second place, he was so begoggled that I could not have seen him had he been standing still.” “Can you tell me what an Automo- bilist is?” “No, O Sage. I dare say, however, that he is a very busy person.” “Why do you think so?” HIS REWARD MORNIN’ AT ALL. “Because only important business could have made him go at such speed.” “Your conclusion is illogical.” “Indeed! You astonish me. Surely you do not mean to imply that he had no important business on hand.” “T mean to imply exactly that.” “Then why was he going so fast?” “Because he had no important busi- ness on hand.” “I fail to comprehend your sequence of cause and effect.” “Listen. I will explain. A_ business man goes about his business deliberately. The busier he is the more deliberately he goes about it. Automobiling, however, is a thing apart, a business in itself with its own rules and regulations. An Auto- mobilist is peculiarly modern, for this is the age of speed. An Automobilist is pre- eminently a disciple of the gospel of speed. He believes in speed for speed’s sake.” AN’ TO THINK, SINFUL CRITTER THET I BE, THET I COME NIGH NOT GOIN’ TO CHURCH THIS “Does it then become a mania with him?” “T would answer you in the affirma- tive, but I do not like to be so unkind.” Von Bugg: Got A MATCH OLD MAN? Mr, Firefly: No; But 1 CAN GIVE You A LicntT, comicbooks.com