Life, 1910-12-15 · page 25 of 44
Life — December 15, 1910 — page 25: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces mocking domestic life and food culture circa 1909-1912. **"To Please Both Sides":** A husband and wife appear in court—she claims cruelty, he admits throwing things because she serves experimental, bizarre salads (nasturtium, hickory nut, even shredded chrysanthemums). The judge publicly censures him but privately confesses his own wife now torments him with strange recipes too, and they bond in male solidarity. The satire targets two things: women's fascination with trendy recipe columns from newspapers/magazines, and the hypocrisy of judicial authority that secretly shares the defendant's frustrations. **"Eggs" section:** This mocks absurdly inflated statistical comparisons—comparing Nebraska hens' 1909 egg production (mileage-wise) to railroad construction. The satirist then extends the joke absurdly, suggesting eggs in cold storage could match ancient armies' strength. **Final anecdote:** Two wealthy women discuss failed jelly-making, concluding their failed crab apple preserves went to the Salvation Army (charity for the poor). The satire targets privileged women's domestic pretensions and casual class condescension. All three pieces mock early-20th-century middle/upper-class anxieties about domestic duties and social performance.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“WHERE THERE’S A WILL THERE'S A WAY.” To Please Both Sides OU allege cruelty, madam,” says the court.“ What par- ticular form of cruelty?” “Your honor,” says the complainant, “my husband got mad and threw things at me because I tried to please him with the meals I fixed for him “ What have you to say?" asks the judge of the defendant. “Tl tell you, judge. Maybe I was a little hasty, but it's this way: She is always trying new salads that she finds in the recipe columns of the papers, and after I had tried to eat nasturtium salad, and hickory nut salad, and carrot salad, and egg-plant salad, and dried beef salad, and spaghetti salad, I did lose my temper when she handed me a dish of shredded chrysanthemums with olive oil on them.” “T will not grant a divorce, but I censure the de- D—NATION fendant in my private office,” says the judge, leading the way. Once the door is closed on him and the wondering defendant the judge says: “ Shake, old man! I did the best I could for you. I have to put up this bluff about censuring you because my own wife will read of the case, and she is now making delicious desserts from cold mush and left-over breakfast foods.” Clasping cach other's hands the two men weep silently. I F the eggs laid by Nebraska hens in 1909 were put down in a double row, end to :nd, they would -xtend nineteen thousand three hundred and eighteen miles, waich is more than three times the railway mileage built in the United States in 1908."—Bulletin of the Burcau of Lobor and Industries. But that is by no means all. Why such feeble and un- enlightened comparisons when those same eggs, merely by being allowed to repose in cold storage as long as usual, would be stronger, in the aggregate, than the combined armies of Xerxes, Hannibal and Genera! Kuropatkin? Ut-pwo beautifully dressed women got on the car at Fifty- fifth Street and entered into a discussion of their house- Finally, when the subject of jellies was reached, one said to the other: “Yes, we tried some crab apples this year, but the stuff wouldn't jell, and we had to give it to the Salvation Army hold cares and worries.