Life — November 17, 1910 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LEE Terrible News ! Life's Balloon, the Sure Cure, Reaches Its Destination, All Hope Lost IFE’S Great Balloon Expedition, the Most Tremendous Enterprise in Modern Annals, started on its way ten days ago. The news of the start was withheld from the people as it was not deemed wise to place them under such great suspense, Capable of holding a round dozen people the balloon started with the following on its way across the Pacific: Theodore Roosevelt. Anthony Comstock. Andrew Carnegie. Paul Morton, Thomas F. Ryan. John D. Rockefeller. Elinor Glyn. Charles Mellen. George Baer. Chauncey Depew. Pierpont Morgan. Immediately after the balloon started. Great anxicty felt. Many citizens feared the balloon would reach its destination. It was built so strongly and the conditions were so favorable, that the result was in doubt. “If this balloon makes thé trip successfully,” said an acute observer who witnessed the start, “I see no hope for this country.”” Crowds, watched the bulletin boards, It was realized by all that a new era might dawn at any moment—if the balloon The latest reports indicate, however, that the people will accept the situation. The public buildings have been draped P. S.—Roosevelt has just cabled: “On my return I will stump the country.’”” We now fear the worst. The Value of the Custom House T would be suicidal to dispense with the terrors of custom house inspection. In petty physical ways they may be annoying, but just therein lies their value, as any one can see who is imbued with a level-headed psychology. The United States Government must keep before the peo- ple. Furthermore, it must keep before them in a way that will both inspire fear and command respect. It is something, to be sure, to stick a stamp on a letter and drop it into the box or to answer the gurgling tremulo of the gray-suited postman, If that were all, however, we would soon come to look upon our Government as merely a plodding dray horse or a generous and uncomplaining milch cow instead of a militant force for revenue only. But when we are met at the dock by inspectors, bearing the insignia of the United States, and they proceed courteously to bullyrag us, gently to undress us and politely to insult us, we are filled with a weening sense of the Government's im- portance, virility and oneness of purpose. The idea could profitably be extended to the interior. Devices could be introduced by which every individual citizen, respectable or otherwise, might be brought under the yoke with a stern but gracious unyieldingness which would prove beyond peradventure of doubt that our Government is fit to survive. Ellis O. Jones. didn’t get there. All hope is now lost, however, as the following dispatch indicates: Canton.—Word has just been received from Yokohama that Lire’s balloon, the Sure Cure, containing Theodore Roose- velt, Chauncey Depew, Paul Morton, Thomas Ryan, Andrew’ Carnegie, John D. Rockefeller and Pierpont Morgan al, has arrived safely. The American people as a whole have stood the shock very well. As the hours went by and no word was received from the balloon, signs of suppressed clation were observable on every band. Crowds gathered in front of the bulletin boards and the hope that the American Republic would at last come to its own was very Strong. Arrangements were made for torchlight processions to celebrate the loss of the balloon with all on board, and in general the people prepared for ap- propriate festivities; at the same time they held themselves in check in case of possible disaster. When the news was at last flashed around the world that the balloon had ar- rived safely, it was received in silence by the multitude. When it was finally learned that every member of the expe- dition was unharmed and capable of go- ing on as before, a sullen melancholy settled on every one. LIFE'S INFALLIBLE FORTUNE TELLER If you were born on November “a Your future wile will be an up-to- will stutter, That date lady novelist, will give you quite and you will be ] 7 a start of him in all Kept busy explain the family discus- ing that she isn’t as sions. bad as she writes. ‘Your future husband a> "GB Your future wife will seldom agree with your opinions on any subject. Your domestic life will not be monot- ‘onous. Your future husband &3~ will be younger than you are.. At the same time you will have great trouble making him mind. “EB Your future wile will talk in her sleep. Also when she fs awake. ‘Your future husband 4a will wear corsets, ‘When you reproach him he will agree to swear off if you will, comicbooks.com