Life — September 29, 1910 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

510 *LIFE: The New Country School LIFE’S INFALLIBLE FORTUNE TELLER T walls and the ceiling they're If you were bom on ppraving, September They're scrubbing the woodwork and floors; A stream on the blackboard is playing, They're boiling the desks and the doors; The old water pail has been scalded, A cup for each lassie and lad, And no one may drink, as we all did, From that old tin dipper we bad. They've cleansed every pointer and fer- tule, The ink wells are scrubbed out with lye, The books and the slates are made sterile, The old well is filled up and dry; The girls have to wear, willy-nilly, A button which bears this bold si; “The lips that touch germs or bacilli Are lips that will never touch mine.’” The dunce cap is boiled every morning, (They've the individual kind!) The front door is set with this warnin “Who enters here leaves germs be- hind.” No apple is smuggled for sharing As was on the schooldays of yore, Until they've made sterile the paring And quite disinfected the core. Alas! The old pump is discarded, And gone in the flight of the years; The new drinking fountain is guarded By the Anti-germ Grenadicrs ! The vines from the windows they're stripping Lest germ-breeding insects might The eaves and the rafters are dripping All wet with a sterilized spray. Oh come, in the joy of the morning, What secrets of schooldays we'll tell! That thick rising vapor gives warning That Teacher is boiling the bell. It's time for the B Class in Scrubbing, The A Class is set out to cool From its recent boiling and rubbing— Three cheers for the Sterilized School ! J. W. Foley AUD: She acts as though she owned her husband. Beatrix: Sure she does! She thinks sbe owns him as much as she does the books she borrows. “€8 Your future wile will be a widow with three athletic sons. You will be kind to her, “G8 Your future wile will be a nice girl who will keep you in the luxury to which you have been accustomed, even if she has to take in washing. 29 30 ‘Your future husband > will be a practical politician and your life will be spent in being agreeable to disagreeable pe r- sons, ‘Your futurehusband #9" will, much to your disgust, insist on wearing a diamond ring. You will for- give the eccentricity when you are ar- rested for speeding and have to give bait October “ES Your future wile will be fond of the clergy and you will seldom have to say grace at your own table. GB Your future wife will be a social leader and take you into our best so- ciety. You will wonder why your brains are going to seed. GB Your future wile will be a militant suffragette and your autograph will dec- orate many a bail- bond. “WR Your future wile will be fond of ocean-voyages and your tendency to sea-sickness will be the cause of many separations. “GB Your future wile will be a step daughter and in your case the moth- er-in-law question will be settled in advance. ‘Your future husband #97 will be a confirmed tea-drinker bat in other respects a highly moral per- son. ‘Your future husband 42> will be a native of Boston and have a predilection for baked beans. This will indicate the way to his heart and you will take advantage of this weakness, ‘Your future husband 4a will be a tennis ex- pert and your life will be spent going from tournament to tournament. ‘Your future husband 49 will be a prominent undertaker but cheerful in the do- mestic circle and fond of playing sona- tas on the jew'e harp. ‘Your future husband 49> will have amassed a fortune in canned beef. He will not care much for Swinburne's verse. comicbooks.com