Life — June 16, 1910 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

But what will he say, and what will he say, Oh, what will he say to me? His Pinchot is out, no doubt; His Party is rent asunder; I've done what I could, I've tried to be good, But what will he say, I wonder! Oh, let us be glad, and let us be glad, As glad as ever may be! But will he be sad, or will he be mad, Oh, will he be mad at me? The Tarifi!—I shrink to think— Oh, can it be called a blunder? His Policies, too, Are slightly askew. Oh, what will he say, I wonder? of Great Injurion: ens, etc., Chorus of — Malefactors Wealth, Predatory Interests, Combinations, Undesirable Cit ete: He’s a Frantic Desperado ; He’s a Ravaging Tornado; Ife's an Influence Satanic thquake! He's a Socialistic Dreamer ; s a Demagogic Schemer; He's an Anarchistic Screamer! Revolutional! Unconstitutional ! Wish his skin had less of thickness! Wish he'd caught the Sleeping Sickness! Wish an Elephant had hit him! Wish a Crocodile had bit him! an Having made this slight digression, Let us join the Glad Procession. A whaleboat, manned by a picked crew of Rough Rowers, approaches the landing Jacob A. Riis and the Teddy Bear rush + into the water and reappear bearing upon their shoulders Theodorus Afri- canus, armed to the tecth, laureled to the eyebrows, and mounted on his favorite “DECLARE, DECLARE, 0 TEDDY DEAK’? “EVER PURSUED BY THE hunting pony “Tranquillity.” He sets foot upon the sacred soil of Manhattan and marches to the center of the stage, er pursued by the inexorable limelight. Great jubilation. Triumphal tableau, Final grand chorus of Third Term CHORUS OF MALEFACTOKS Boomers, Ultimate Consumers, Fathers of Thirteen Children and the Glad Popw lace, to the tune of “ America” We adore The-o-dore, Who to his native shore Comes from afar He'll give our woes relief, Jail cach audacious thief, Cut down the price of beef— Welcome home, T. R.! Arthur Guiterman. INEXORAMLE LIMELIGHT Wanted: New Styles in Pensions HE country is now paying out $155, 000,000 a year for Civil War pen- sions, As fast as this sum diminishes by the death of pensioners fervent ef- forts are made to add to it by increas- ing the amount of pensions. Two plunder pension schemes are now before Congress. One is to put all sur- viving Civil War officers on the retired list of the army, at a cost of from ten to thirty millions, The other is to give a pension of thirty dollars a month to every surviving Civil V soldier, at a cost of about forty millions. One bill cov both jobs. These additional pensions are not due. A very large proportion of the pensions already voted are not due. If there must he more pensions Congress should find a new basis for them. The Civil War a basis has been pitifully worked for the last thirty years. Think of something new, good Congressmen. Pension all drinking men because of the er they their Pension all pension teachers, ex-Pre: trained nurses over fifty years old. If the money must be voted, show some originality about ding it. So far as pensions go the Civil War debt has been far overpaid, with great resulting dan to the self- respect of the Civil War vetera pension over: incur from habits. mothers, school dents, comicbooks.com