Life — June 9, 1910 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THAT Old Saying Disproved having an en aged couple staying at our house for the have been past week, and I would like to have it go down on the records that for all practical purposes I constitute an exception to that time-honored saying * All the world loves a lover.”” This may be quite true in an abstra sense. All the world may love a lover if all the world has set its mind on doing it, but I beg to be excused ed couple begin to. stir about the house in the early hours of morning, and by THE ENGAGEMENT RING MOSQUITO ON MY ANKLE.” around them has grown so intense that you can hear a pin drop in the basement kitchen, where is served the siler the park policeman is taking his seven- thirty coffee and rolls. The principal objection I have to this couple is that they appear to be keeping something from me. As a mat ter of fact Iam perfectly aware of what is in their minds, and, indeed, the thing which they app profound secret has been am common talk for some centuries They forget ever. This, indeed, is their principal oc cupation. Engaged couples, like a mill in pros perous times, with six months’ ahead, are constantly working over time and never catching up. They do not even speak when they are spoken to There is only one known cure. And that is to call in a minister and apply a marriage ceremony. s works ar to believe is such a ter of how- never themselves, orders It’s expensive, but two stages in the career of every successful writer; during the first he is surprised when the editor returns his manuscript and during the second he is surprised when the editor does not. GNES: U she? Gtapys: Yes, indeed. She says she’s sure that if her house is ever burgled it will be done by a woman. able to attract men, is 1059 A Great Thought HAT idea of a National Board of Health was more than clever. It was an inspiration—such an inspira tion as on the field of battle turns de- feat to victory Called by its prope however, a Doctors’ Trust, it be inspiriting—at least to the intended victims. And the intended vic. numerous—about nam comes less tims are ninety mil lions. This trolled, of Board of Health would be cos course, by the old school doctors, And the old school doctors in recent years have been losing patic But this Board of Health, if would materialize, would only restore these pati For what would be easier than rival's ruin? Their most dreaded rival is, perhaps, the osteopath. By curing diseases here incurable, and without drugs or nverted countless suf tofor surgery, he h ferers to his faith. It is needless to ex plain why the Man of Medicine him not. The homeopath, the Scientist, the “rank outsiders * crucified or banished loves Christian mental scientist—all the —would be speedily Moreover, with its absolute power, the Doctors’ Trust could easily repress this rising revolt against Things we especially compulsory. Other vaccination abhor would be- people's dis eases would be pumped, by law, into un. come willing bodies; all dogs would be vivi sected and our children ii hydrophobia. Orphan s perfect “ material’ for experiment, and we should enter upon a unlimited serum, of peulated with furnish yous era of gory science and more liberal Tue. apparel oft proclaims the monkey PREPARING TOR THE SUMMER CAMPAIGN comicbooks.com