Life — May 12, 1910 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Neatly Hit Off Mrs. Ella Wheeler Wilcox hit off in a neat epigram a notorious difference in the world’s treatment of the sexes “To say,"” she observed, “that every- body is talking about a young man is a culo say that everybody is tall young woman is an elegy ; but to ing about a "Tribune. Forgot the Judge Two lawyers before a probate judge recently got into a wrangle. At last one of the disputants, losing control his emotions, exclaimed to his oppone.t : “Sir, you are, I think, the ‘“ggest ass that I ever had the «:sfortune to set eyes upon."” “Order! Order!" said the gravely. “You seem to forget am in the room.""—Wasp. judge that | Ax optimist is one who would rather believe that everything is all right than know the truth.—Lippincott’s. —— ae NyLLv5 Not in His Line “When you are grown up,’’ queried the visitor, “ will you be a doctor, like your father?’ “Oh, dear me, no! Why, I couldn't even kill a rabbit,’’ replied the boy with great frankness.—Argonaut. To Sleep on the Premises A Washingtonian, owni place near the capital, enga boy a country lad from eastern Mary! During his last stay at the place the owner did not see the boy for several s. Finally, however, having special need of the lad, it occurred to him that the stable-hand was not exactly “on the job."” Where the deuce do you keep your. sclf?'? demanded the master of the place. “I don't believe I've seen you since you were engaged. Have you been asleep all this while?" “Yes, sir,’ was the unexpected re- sponse. “I thought that was what you wanted, sir.” “What I wanted! '? exclaimed the em- “What are you driving a country ged as stable. id. ployer, amazed. avr’? “Well, sir,’ explained the lad, “ your advertisement said you wanted a boy of sixteen; to sleep on the premises.”— Saturday Evening Post. does wot ‘uxt ttvelf res ved every T simultaneously in the U vssessions. $5.0 « year in'advance. Additional Zanada, S2cents. Single current copi lication, 25 cents. 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