Life, 1910-05-12 · page 30 of 44
Life — May 12, 1910 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three brief humorous anecdotes and a large advertisement for Sanatogen tonic. **The three jokes:** 1. **"Neatly Hit Off"** — A quote from poet Ella Wheeler Wilcox satirizing gender double standards: calling a man a "eulogy" (praise) while the same behavior in a woman is an "elegy" (lament). It mocks how society judges men and women differently. 2. **"Forgot the Judge"** — Two lawyers argue before a judge; one calls the other an ass, and the judge interrupts saying the lawyer forgot *he* (the judge) is in the room. It's a self-important judge joke. 3. **"To Sleep on the Premises"** — A boy hired as a stable hand sleeps constantly because the job advertisement said "to sleep on the premises"—he took it literally as his job description rather than understanding it as living quarters. **The Advertisement:** Below occupies most of the page, featuring physicians and royalty (King Edward VII, Emperor Frederick, the Czar, etc.) praising Sanatogen, a "food-tonic" claimed to restore health and strength. This is typical patent-medicine marketing of the era, using false celebrity endorsements.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Neatly Hit Off Mrs. Ella Wheeler Wilcox hit off in a neat epigram a notorious difference in the world’s treatment of the sexes “To say,"” she observed, “that every- body is talking about a young man is a culo say that everybody is tall young woman is an elegy ; but to ing about a "Tribune. Forgot the Judge Two lawyers before a probate judge recently got into a wrangle. At last one of the disputants, losing control his emotions, exclaimed to his oppone.t : “Sir, you are, I think, the ‘“ggest ass that I ever had the «:sfortune to set eyes upon."” “Order! Order!" said the gravely. “You seem to forget am in the room.""—Wasp. judge that | Ax optimist is one who would rather believe that everything is all right than know the truth.—Lippincott’s. —— ae NyLLv5 Not in His Line “When you are grown up,’’ queried the visitor, “ will you be a doctor, like your father?’ “Oh, dear me, no! Why, I couldn't even kill a rabbit,’’ replied the boy with great frankness.—Argonaut. To Sleep on the Premises A Washingtonian, owni place near the capital, enga boy a country lad from eastern Mary! During his last stay at the place the owner did not see the boy for several s. Finally, however, having special need of the lad, it occurred to him that the stable-hand was not exactly “on the job."” Where the deuce do you keep your. sclf?'? demanded the master of the place. “I don't believe I've seen you since you were engaged. Have you been asleep all this while?" “Yes, sir,’ was the unexpected re- sponse. “I thought that was what you wanted, sir.” “What I wanted! '? exclaimed the em- “What are you driving a country ged as stable. id. ployer, amazed. avr’? “Well, sir,’ explained the lad, “ your advertisement said you wanted a boy of sixteen; to sleep on the premises.”— Saturday Evening Post. does wot ‘uxt ttvelf res ved every T simultaneously in the U vssessions. $5.0 « year in'advance. Additional Zanada, S2cents. Single current copi lication, 25 cents. Whe returned wiles accompanied by sta iporsible for the less or nowreturn of ‘or sale by all Newsdealers in Gr ef ribt ‘Chancery Lane, London, E. also at Saarbach's News Exchanges, 1 Paris; 1, Via Firenze, Milan: May nited States, Great Britain, Canada and stage to foreign countries in the Postal es, 1 cents, Lack numbers, after three amped and addressed envelope. Live mesolicited contribution: ” C., England, Aents. Brentano's, 37 Ave. del'Opea, 16 Jo! Adelphi Suand, W.C., London; 9, Rue Se ice, Germany. ustrations in Live are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Briteing 1H Southampton Row, London, WW. C. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. FOG in < Dhysicians and World Famous People praise _the Reconstructive Powers oO. ris —————— The King’s Physician =De. Ernest Ott, Marienbad: Rave wed Sanatogea for years. with excellent results, in cates where it was irabteto build up streoxth, + the bodily fuactions prove the elrculation Emperor Frederic’s Physician Experience points to the fact feats sultering from perv (stion and who present ti troultesome symptoms of neers The Czar of Russia's Private Physician My da tite Improved. ber weight Increaved, and the color of ber ‘skin becaime healthier." Emperor of Austri Private Phy Bitogen with spleadid results and Tecoumend Ht coatiovally and trerenbere Necasse [am tore 7 cenvinced that ie is 80 exceltat foodetoate™ The King of Italy's Physician =Dr. G. Quirico: "1 have used Sanstocen with marked beneft in be cave of weakly ehil in convaleacenve alter tong es. Teonsider Sanatogea & most ‘excellent toni food.” | Sanatogen | THE FOOD//TONIC | HE strenuous requirements ot modern life demand nerves that guide calmly—surely—accurately—decisively. Mind workers rule the world—but in nearly every case they pay the penalty of overwork—overstrain—overworry. Nerves give away—brain weakens—digestion is disordered— nights are sleepless. World-known physicians, authors, actors and other notables have recognized this inevitable danger. They have learned how to combat it—how to actually forestall it. They are unanimous in their praise of the wonderful revitalizing, re-creating and re-energizing properties of SANATOGEN. A scientific combination of Albumen and Sodium. Glycero- phosphate—two of the best known brain and body builders. It comes to you in the form of a fine white powder, easily dissolved in your daily beverage—milk, coffee, chocolate, etc. Write for Dr. Saleeby’s Book “The Will To Do” is this internationally famed physician- author's latest contribution to medical literature. Dr. Saleeby has the knack of imparting most valuable medical advice in such a manner that it makes pleasant reading and this book ie no exception to bis readable style. A copy mailed with our compliments upon request. Get Sanatogen from your druggist— if not obtainable from him, write THE BAUER CHEMICAL COMPANY 45 East 17th St, New York 3 Poe Tempest ‘The Versatile comedienne, says Your Sanatogen’ Isa most | The fasous prima Gunna, says: wSanatogea was recommended to me by & well-known physi and I have found ita true re-v ner. Thave oever felt better U pow and am sure largely responsible.” Mlle. Gerville-Reache The operatic star, says Saratogen's value, as tt has com- pletely restored my digestive or. fars,ig Bele natural state “of Channing Pollock ‘The well kaows play-wright, says: “Following the production of sSuch a Little Queen I suffered an ousually severe case of! Tbegaa Gking Sanat Gall of energy as ever before. Sir John Hare ‘Dean of the stage, says: Thave found Sanatogen a mott valable tonic and stimulant dut- ing a period whea I hat to work very hard vader conditions of great weakness and ill-neaith.”” comicbooks.com