Life — March 17, 1910 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Little Chats With Vivisectors ENTLEMEN, I take the liberty to- day of giving you a bit of advice. Good! Go ahead. You may have observed that people are sick they like to get well. True enough! Also, that they their winds if they have confidence in Doctor. Right agoin nd, naturally, they are less happy if their physician is a crank on serums and so fond of experiments that he pumps other fellows’ diseases— Rubbish! into his patients. The public is silly, of course, but it does shy at serums More fools they! The al profession as a whole does not accept your results. It con- siders some of your serums dangerous. And parents, as you know, are— Oh. go home! —retting so cranky they shudder at vac- cination. They don’t care to pay moncy for having doses of scrofula and tuber- culosis squirted— Shut up, you fool! when are easier in med ROGRESS consists in acquiring knowledge of how ignorant we are. Brain Currency HILE we are doing the white thing by the bankers in enabling them at a moment's notice to issue currency based upon their assets, why not extend —into their children. That is one reason why so much less money just now is passing into the hands of the medical profession. That is one reason why the presence of a vivisector at the bedside is a heap sight more startling than sooth- ing. Rot! You don't know what you are talking sbout! People ave afraid of you. They know that you are drunk with experiments, that you cannot resist them. That after nimals— Idiot! Lying ignoramus! --you need humans—and you take them where you find them. And my advice, gentlemen, is this: That if you honestly desire to restore a noble profession to its former Ass! you must quit this torturing of ani- nials and come down to business Oh, go to the devil! Give the animals a rest. the sick. You are a brainless liar! Thank you, gentlemen. Try and cure 475 “Life’s” Telegram Contest This is the second installment gleaned from answers received “ Sister under arrest here inciting mob at Suffragist. Mecting.”” Mrs. W._K. Simpson, Des Moines, fa. Dr. Kixpe Motiter Mave, rorath Street, New York City. Srandma’s plum pudding received Fido dead. Arrested. Cruelty charg CQ. D. Jac Bostox, Mass Ware AL Wart, W. 23d Sty unt Moneybag’s a Operation April 1, 1910. ew York City. yendix removed jlure. Will re- ROTHER Bite, 1. R. Mapp, 7 New York Have Mother return at skipped with affinity once, Dad Dick. Mr, Joun Doe, iverside Drive, New York City. Locked up in Metropolitan Tower with Anna Held, Send help. FaTHen. Pointpexter, Brooklyn, N. Y. Will meet you at French Ball Thurs. day night. Pink domino. Dotty Rev, Georce Amos Ctoserist, Sk.. Germantown, Pa. Have pledged you donation thousand dollars Chorus Girls’ Benefit Associa- tion. A. Ctoserit, Jn. New York, Feb. 28. Wintias Hicatys, Bridgeport, Conn. Grandma invited Left teeth on washstand. beefsteak dinner. xpress them. Witt. Modesty suggests gauze adornment while exercising mornings by your win- dow. A. Passer By. fo - Ne the principle to those of us who have brains, but who, at certain crises, such as the shutting-down of factories or the closing-up of our favorite savings bank, are unable to realize on either the failure or the past products of those brains? To some people this may appear too revolutionary, but surely brains are still worth a little something, and, if so, the Government ought to be willing to let us hock them when occasion requires. Ellis O. Jones. ELF-PERPETUATION is the first law of the legislature. THERE'S ANOTHER GRAIN! Bride: quick, youn! comicbooks.com