Life, 1910-03-03 · page 53 of 80
Life — March 3, 1910 — page 53: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three satirical pieces from 1880s Life magazine: **"Finnigin to Flannigan"** (top left): A humorous poem in exaggerated Irish-American dialect mocking railroad bureaucracy. A worker named Finnigin must report accidents to his boss Flannigan. The joke: Finnigin writes exhaustively detailed reports, so Flannigan demands brevity. When a rail accident occurs, Finnigin's entire report reads "Off agin, on agin, / Gone agin.—Finnigin"—the ultimate brief response, implying the solution to railroad disasters is simply to get trains running again regardless of safety. **The cartoon (bottom)**: An old gentleman accuses someone of putting a fifty-cent piece in a collection box, but the person admits to deliberately using it because making change would be "a bore"—satirizing self-serving dishonesty masked as convenience. **"Selected Tales"** (right): An anecdote where George Washington refuses to eat potatoes at dinner, apparently as a matter of principle, leaving guests emotional—unclear satire, possibly mocking excessive reverence for the founding fathers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
IW. Pitew! Finnigin to Flannigan UPERINTINDINT wuz Flanigan; Boss ay the siction wuz Finnigin; Whiniver the kyars got offen the thrack An’ muddled up things t' th’ divil an’ back, Finnigin writ it to Flanigan, Afther the wreck wuz all on agin; That is, this Finnigin Repoorted to Flanigan. Whin Finnigin furst writ to Flannigan, He writed tin pages—did Finnigin. An’ he tould jist how the smash occurred ; Full minny a tajus, blunderin’ warrd Did Finnigin write to Flanigan Afther the cars had gone on agin. That wuz how Finnigin Repoorted to Flannigan. Now Flannigan knowed than Finnigan— He'd more idjucation—had Flannigan; An’ it wore’m clane an’ complately out To tell what Finnigin writ about In his writin’ to Muster Flann So he writed back to Finnij “Don't do sich a : Make ‘cm brief, Finnigin more Whin Finnigin got this from Flanigan, sy rid—did Finnigin; I'll gamble a whole month’s pa-ay That it will be minny an’ minny a d Befoore Sup’rintindint, that’s Flann Gits a whack at this very same sin agi From Finnigin to Flanigan Repoorts won't be long agin.” Wan da-ay on the siction av Finnigin, On the road sup’rintinded by Flannigan, A rail give way on a bit av a curve An’ some kyars went off as they made the swerve. “There's nobody hurted,’” sez Finnigin, “But reports must be made to Flan- nigan.”” An’ he winked at McGorrigan, As married a Finnigin. He wuz shantyin’ thin, wuz Finnigin, As minny a railroader’s been agin, An’ the shmoky ol’ lamp wuz burnin’ bright In Finnigin’s shanty all that night— Bilin’ down his repoort, was Finnigin! An’ he writed this here: “ Muster Flannigan : Off agin, on agin, Gone agin.—Finnigin.”” S. W. Gillitan. (May 13, 1897. No. 751.) Old Gentleman (excitedly): pipn’t 1 GAVL YOU THAT YOU PUT IN THE BOX? His Vis-a-vis (calmly): ou, vas! (September 15, 1887. No. 246.) Selected Tales Wasuincron who afterward be- came the Father of his Country, was one day dining at an old manor house on the Hudson with several heroes of the Revolution. Lafayette, who was present, turned to Washington and said pleasantly : “ General, try a potato."* “ Sir!” replied the Father of his Coun- try, fixing a look on Lafayette which those present never forgot, “I never eat potatoes.’ There was not a dry eye at the table, (July 5, 1883. No. 27.) YOU KNOW THAT WAS A FIPTY-CENT PIECE BUT SUCH A BORE TO MAKE CHANGE. (April 3, 1884. No. 66.) comicbooks.com