Life — March 3, 1910 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LIFE: 371 show how we stand with him. We expect to put him on good terms with his wife in a few weeks. This trivial little affair would be hardly worth mentioning were it not that it has slightly delayed our plans for the com- ing year, and we therefore thought it best to acquaint our friends with the facts. Only one thing more need be said ; we hesitate to mention it, but we are fortunately on good enough terms with our customers not to have them misunderstand us at this late day. The incident referred to was a trifle more expensive than we thought possible and has left us temporarily short of funds. Aiso, our new and entirely friendly relation- ship with our close friends the police is, we can see, going to render us under certain obligations which can only be dis- charged by coin of the realm. For these reasons we must ask our customers who are behindhand in their remittances to help us out and send along the moncy as fast as possible. To be candid—and we think we can speak with entire free- need cash badly, and those of our friends who have just commenced treatment, and from whom we wouldn't ex- pect ordinarily anything substantial, will do us a good turn if they will send along a payment in advance. Our reputation for fair dealing is behind us, and by re- mitting promptly our personal health and strength will be conserved for the use of our regular trade. In no other busi- ness does this matter so much as with us; but we have to take personal charge of most of our cases, and we need all of our energies toward this end. The moment we are obliged to worry about money our customers suffer; wives who have been placed under complete control of their husbands are likely to have a relapse at this critical time unless we are in a proper condition to treat them. Practically the fate of thou- sands of married people in this country depends upon our getting enough cash together without delay to cement our al- ready growing friendship with the police and to satisfy the able attorney who defended us. We will accept any kind of money, including Canadian silver and foreign postage stamps, if uncancelled ; also, in an emergency, notes of hand, if endorsed by the president or cashier of your local bank. Our spring and summer plans will be announced a little ter. In the meantime we are cheered and refreshed by such letters as follows, just received : Dear Burzau: I have heard of the dastardly attack made upon your entert: ment committee by the police and can only say that in a civilized land it is amazing thet such an outrage can be committed. Your entertainment committce J] regard as a grest moral agent. While you were curing my wife I made free use of it, and while my wife docsn't approve of it. 1 may say that it was one of the influences that brought us together. Don't worry. This affair will blow over and you will be stronger than ever. My wife joins me in love. Yours, x. Call, write or wire. Open day and night. Hussanps’ Corresroxvence Bu The Two Men NCE there were two men, each of whom wa believed in a hell The first man, being a plain, unlettered sort of person, simply answered: “I don’t know,’’ and was promptly set down as an agnostic, « heretic and a dangerous individual, as well as a menace to the morals of the community. The other, who was high of brow and slow of speech, wrote out his answer in full. He took five thousand words to introduce his subject and then utilized seventy thousand words to tell what the first man had told in three. The second man was hailed as a philosopher, an uplifter and a leader in the better thought of the nation. People do not want to be answered, they want to be entertained. ked if he Is He Vindictive > Dr. Johnson lived to-day and if he was not lying when he dhe loved a good hater, he would doubtless have had a strong affection for Governor Hughes. Last year the Gov- ernor gave the racing gentlemen a course of legislative treat- nt which scemed to destroy their property and put them out of business. The courts have since decreed that the racing men have at least the right to stay on earth and breathe. Judg- ing by other bills recently introduced, the Governor resents the decisions of the courts and proposes to have a set of laws enacted that will put the racing men in a class completely by themselves in the matter of severe penalties which may be visited on them if they bet on their horses. The present laws for the punishment of common and professional gamblers are not severe enough to satisfy the Governor's antipathy to horse- racing It is said that Governor Hughes's whiskers conceal a some- what fanatical and vindictive mouth and chin, In view of his persecution of racing its promoters are inclined to believe this. HOW HE ENJOYED THE EASTER SERVICE About Lincoln BSERVATION of the newspapers every Lincoln's birth- day discloses how very fond folks who like to talk are, and long have been, of talking about Lincoln. No wonder! Somehow you can’t entirely miss it when you talk about Lincoln, no matter what you say. It is a case where the pattern transfigures the goods. TORKS rush in where eagles and double eagles fear to tread. comicbooks.com