Life — February 24, 1910 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Getting Acquainted I got acquainted very quick With Teddy Brown, when he Moved in the house across the street— The nearest one, you sce. I climbed and sat upon a post To look, and so did he; I stared and stared across at him, And he stared back at me. I s'posed he wanted me to speak ; I thought I'd try and see. I said “ Hello!” to Teddy Brown; He said “Hello!” to me. Sydney Dayre Permission of the Century Company (Best Things from Best Authors) Eve and the Serpent A Frenchman's idea of the modus operandi by which that objectionable reptile, the serpent, carried out his pro- gramme with Eve, is thus pleasingly narrated in the French gentleman's broken English: “Monsieur Adam he walked up, he sees une belle demoiselle aslip in ze garden. Voila de la chance! ‘Bon jour, Madame Iv.’ Madame Iv she wake; she hole her fan before to her face. Adam put up his eye-glass to zdmire ze tableau. Zey make one promenade. Madame Iv she feel hun- gry. She sees appel on ze arbre, Ser- pent he promene sur 'arbre, make one walk on ze tree. ‘Monsieur Serpent,’ says Iv, ‘Weel you have not ze bonté to peck me some appel? J'ai faim. *Certainment, madame,’ say ze serpent, “charmé de vous voir.’ ‘Holo, mon ami, ar-r-r-etez vous,’ say Adam; “stop que songez vous faire! What madness is zees? You must not peek ze appel.’ Ze snake he take one pinch of snuff; he say: ‘Ah, Monsieur Adam, do you not know there is noth- ing prohebeet for ze ladies?) Madame An average American knows many people. But he does not always know where they are. He has a thousand friends and ac- quaintances. Where are they at this particular moment? He can be sure of some of them—perhaps a dozen. But he wants to locate‘one or more of the others. The Bell system enables him to reach them. If he finds his friend at home, or in his place of business, he talks with him at once. If {he learns that his friend is in some other town the Bell System will furnish the connection. Cities are larger than they used to be. Men know and need to know more people. Yet the need of keeping in touch is as great as ever. Without Bell service there would be hopeless confusion. The range of the telephone is not confined to one town or one commun- ity. It is not satisfying simply to learn that a man is out of town; through the Long Distance Service of the Bell Sys- tem he may be reached, wherever he is. The Bell Service extends to all com- munities. It reaches the millions of American people. One in twenty is a Bell subscriber. The other nineteen can be found -because Bell service is universal service. The telephone does more work for less money than any other servant of mankind. There is economy as well as efficiency in one system, one policy, universal service. Every Bell Telephone is the Center of the System. AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY HEADACHES 10¢., 25¢., 50c., and $1 00 Bottles. AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES Iv, permeet me to offer you some of this fruit defendu.’ Iv she make one courtesy. Ze snake he fill her whole parasol wiz appel.” (Best Things from Best Authors) Her Unfashionable Figure Emma: I must go right away to a cure in Marienbad. “Indeed! What doctor ordered that?" “No doctor—my dressmaker.""—Flie- gende Biatter.