Life — February 17, 1910 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

"LIP E* MOTOR-BOATING HAS ITS DRAWBACKS Master Frederick on Motor Boats EACHER wants us boys to rite a essay on Motor Boats. Any boy can do that. All he’s gotter do is go stand in fronter one an’ look it over; then go back an’ rite all about it. That's easy. This is a mecanicle age. Pa says so; an’ machinry comes natchral to mos’ boys; or mos’ boys go natcheral to machinry. At any rate, they scem to get mixed up in it a good deel, at times. If a boy ’s jus’ strainin’ for more work in the ritin’ line, he can get some one to take him out in a Motor Boat, an’ let pick up the vo-cab-u-la-ry (that means a liner talk, I jus’ looked it up) that ’s needed to keep her goin’ an’ start up the enjins when they get cranky. I get my ‘maginashun frum Pa, Ma has n't none. She believes mos’ anything. I'm glad I’m fuller that essence. I'd rather tell the stories than do the beleevin’. But about my essay. I'm goin’ to begin it this way: “A Motor Boat is like Love. It’s fuller throbs, thrils and quivers. It carries you along an’ you do n't know where you're goin’, Sometimes you can’t make it start, an’ some- times it starts when you are n't lookin’. It’s apter take you some place and leave you walk home. Return tickets is no good on it. You take your chances when you step on. A Motor Boat has bin known to killer man. So can Love. A Motor Boat often blows up aman. So duz a woman. (woman here is sinominous with Love). A Motor Boat can make a man happy an’ envied, or de- spised an’ miscrubul, an’ so can Love. A Motor Boat costs a hole lot, but anybody who can get one, gets one, an’ 1 that’s the same with Love, too.” Key C. Statuary Hall TATUARY HALL in the Capitol at Washington is not worth very much disturbance of the peace. If rows be come too common over the effigies that the States are to place there, it will be better to disband the marble and metal com- pany that now peoples that sanctuary and give it up. The gen- cral sentiment of the country is safe cnough as to the privile of sclection proper to be accorded to any State, but there is no protection against agitating talk, nor against the adultera- tion of the quality of the company gathered in the hall by an incursion of comparatively ordinary people. The last acquisition to the Statuary Hall collection is George L.. Shoup, of Idaho. This father of the republic seems to have been a gco!, honest man, but he has been dead less than ten years, and his fame has not yet matured enough to have emerged from the boundaries of Idaho. The collection is in danger of becoming humorous. It is impossible to protect it from mediocrity either in sculpture or subject. It is also impossible to protect the marble dele- gate from any State from public disparagement by disapprov- ing critics. Westminster Abbey is run by its dean, who says who shall and who shall not be admitted to it. That duty might be executed for Statuary Hall by the Sergeant-at-Arms of the House of Representatives. If it is, his pay should be raised one thousand dollars a year, and his widow should be entitled to a pension whenever he is killed in the discharge of his duty, Scriptural Reflection HE man with the fading fringe of hair in sort of a festoon from ear to ear across the back of his head stood in a store and watched a woman purchasing braids, switches, and so forth. Turning sadly away he mused: “Unto her that hath shall be given, but from him that hath not shall be taken even that which he hath." IFE: How would you define migraine? Huspanp: Well, in your case I'd call it an aching void. HOW IT REALLY HAPPENED “DON’T ME SO ANGRY, GOVERNOR, I DID NOT CUT DOWN THE CHERRY TREE, BUT FOR THE SAKE OF OUR COUNTRY, OF WHICH VM TO NE THE FATHER, LET'S COOK UP A TALE THAT WILL BE AN ASSET FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS.” comicbooks.com