Life — February 3, 1910 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

212 “LIFE: When the fireman came back from his work he saw the order and couldn't help but smile. “We can’t go out on a chase like that,’ he exclaimed. “The insurance company would fine us. Still, I suppose something ought to be done about it. I will call up the vil- lage doctor.’ The doctor said that he had no appliances on hand for getting an old lady out of a well and, besides, it was against professional etiquette. He would, however, call, so he dropped around at the Pankton’s, and, with his best bedside manner on, strolled up to the well. “Sorry I can’t get you out,’? he said pleasantly, “ but have no fear. Since Christian Science has come in we doctors make a rule never to alarm a patient. I assure you you will come out all right in the end. I will leave this prescription and you can send for it.”’ “Can't you get it filled for me? '’ cried out the old lady. “Dear me, no! That isn't my duty, Take a sleeping powder every three hours until you fall asleep. I will call in the morning and see how you are getting along.”’ On the way out he happened to see the waitress, who was reading one of Thomas Hardy's novels in the library. You might give her some chicken broth,’’ he said, “ but nothing heartier,’” “Chicken broth!’ murmured the waitress. “Is that what I get twenty-five dollars a month for—to feed chicken broth to old ladies in wells? I trow not!’’ and she went on read- ing. When Mrs. Pankton got home at six o'clock she was ter- ribly annoyed to think that her mother was still in the well. Now, isn’t that just like Adele ?’” she exclaimed. “ She assured me that it had been attended to. At this moment her husband came in and she turned to him. “Mother is in the well,’ she said. “She fell in there this morning, taking her walk, and think of it! I have actually been so busy that" ‘ow, don’t think I am going to do anything about exclaimed Pankton. “I am not a bit mechanical, as you know. I have always made it a rule never to do odd jobs like that. Besides, it’s your funeral. You run the household end of it, don't you? “Well, can’t you give me your advice? Can’t you tell me who to send for?" “Murphy, the contractor, of course. But there's no use doing it now. His men are all union men—" “T understand,’ said Mrs. Pankton, petulantly. “I'm not so stupid as you think. Didn't I have the painters in the house the other day But, in the meantime, what am I to do? We shall have to get an estimate from Murphy, of course, and that will delay mother. You know she helps make up the beds in the morning, and if she isn't here to do it the servants will leave.’ “That settles it.’ said her husband, with a look of ex- treme annoyance. “Here I come home tired and expect to have a quiet evening all to myself, but now I shall have to go to the club in self defense. I bet you put her in the well, anyway, just to harrass me.’’ And he went off growling to himself. In the meantime one of the neighbors had dropped in to talk about it. “T understand that your mother has fallen in the well,”” she said. “Were you thinking of getting her out?’’ “Yes.” “I suppose you realize the danger?” “ How so? “In all probability she has typhoid and with all my chil dren living so near I don’t think you ought to let me run any risk. At any rate, I shall report it to the Board of Health.” And she went off. It was growing dark, and as you always hear noises more in the night, pretty soon grandma's groans could be distinctly heard. Telephone messages began to come in from near-by houses saying that the Panktons were disturbing the peace. The police department was notified, but they refused to act, as there was no section in the State constitution which dealt with old ladies in wells, The next morning the officer from the Board of Health, the doctor, Murphy the contractor, the chief of police and several neighbors arrived at the same time, but on looking over the ground cach refused to act. Pankton was desperate. “If this keeps up,"? he exclaimed, “the price of real estate will begin to depreciate. Why don't you get your mother out of the well, any way? You are a nice sort! I'd do something about it if I were you, just as a matter of pride.”” “Don't you worry,”” said Mrs. Pankton, with a gleam of intelligence in her eye. “Everything will be all right. The trouble with you is that you are in too much of a hurry.”” And in spite of the fact that she had never been so busy in her life she sat down and wrote several letters explaining all. about These letters started the ball rolling. The Ladies’ Home Journal came out flatly in favor of grandmother, devoting a page and a half to the subject. “It’s high time,” said the editor, “that public opinion was stirred up.’” The Woman’s Home Companion followed, publishing some heartrending pictures. Charles Edward Russell was engaged by Everybody's Magazine to write the full history of grand- mothers who had, in times gone by, fallen into wells. He proved conclusively that graft was at the bottom of it all, The American Magazine and McClure’s both came nobly to the rescue, and then the daily papers took it up. Grandmother, eat- ing her bowl of soup and toast three times.a day, provided by popular subscription, with the aid of the Daughters of the Revolution and the Colonial Dames, waited in calmness. “Tt is hard,” she whispered, “but after all I feel that the public is coming around to my side. I shall be vindicated I firmly believe.” ey One morning a couple of months later, as Mrs. Pankton started to make up the beds on the upper story, she glanced out of the window and uttered a cry of joy. There were the village doctor, the head of the fire department, the chief of police, the president of the Board of Health and Contractor Murphy, each man with his coat off, triumphantly helping smiling grandma out of the well. In a corner of the yard the village band, hired for the occasion by popular sub- scription, was playing “My Country ‘Tis of Thee.’’ “There!” she exclaimed exultantly to her husband, “J guess now I shall be able to get my servants back."” “T have always maintained,” said her husband, as he nonchantly skimmed the comic supplement, “that, give the American people time enough, they will always rise to any emergency!" reat deal 0 ne trip to | kclusively Remy E ANDER Branch 400.1402 8 188 Br £MCatlous RANT comicbooks.com