Life — January 6, 1910 — page 35: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

9 *LIFE> 35 Emotional Democracy MINISTER out in Chicago has dis- covered a remedy for the body politic. It is called “emotional democ- racy.’ Doesn't sound particularly bad, but what does it mean, It has a strong suggestion of suffragetism, but surely that couldn't be it The thing that puzzles us is: Does emotional democracy shut out rational democracy? Bryan has always been somewhat emotional. Does it include him? Of course, it doesn’t matter _ much. We are willing to be saved upon almost any terms, be it an emotional or a rational prescription or a delicate proprietary admixture of both If necessary to our safety, we are willing to become hysterical, morbid, dopey, dippy or even optimistic. But in the meantime we wonder Ellis 0. J. LOVE WILL FIND A WAY He Was Looking for Trouble | MAN went into an automobile establishment and accosted the man who came out to greet him. “Have you got a second-hand machine?” “We have indeed One that—" “ Does it run smoothly?" “F None better.”” “Then I don’t want it.” “Don't want it!” “No, sir. I want the worst machine that you have around the place.” “What for?” “To run, of course. I want a machine that backs and fills, that splutters and lays down on you always at the wrong moment. bewant a machine that crawls along and gives you hope and encouragement and fills you with a sense of free- dom, and then suddenly, when you are forgetting that you ever had any trouble, gasps and stops short."* “You say you want a machine just like th “TL certainly do, sir. That's what I came in here for. If My time you can't accommodate me, please say so at once. is valuable, and I will seek elsewhere You're looking for trouble. are you?’ “That's what Iam. Can‘t let me have too much of it. I am hungry for it.” The automobile man became deeply interested “May I ask, sir,’ he said, “what is the peculiar nature of your complaint?” “Certainly, sir. About two years ago my wife became a Christian Scientist and converted me. Then I went over to new thought and began a course of rhythmic breathing. On top of this I joined a vibration school until I became too happy for any use.. I became so happy that I simply couldn't stand it. Now I've got to have a taste of the old times. I must have something to worry me or I shall go mad. ° So trot out the worst old bag of bones you have, sell it to me for a song, and let me once more be a real human being, with an interest in the things of this life.’” “Is THAT ALL YOU'VE KILLED? yes." “COME FOR A RIDE WITH ME Fitted for the Task “HOY do you get your hair arranged so beautifully?" asks the admiring friend “I'M tell you,” candidly answers the owner of the many switches, braids, pufis, ringlets, ete very maid I ha ply wore herself out with the heavy work of dressing my hair, until last summer I found a sturdy Swedish girl pitching bay on a farm near our cottage. I engaged her at once.”” sim- comicbooks.com