Life, 1909-12-23 · page 19 of 28
Life — December 23, 1909 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This *Life* magazine page contains three distinct pieces of satirical content: **"Foiled" cartoon (top left):** A man and woman stand under mistletoe during Christmas. The woman rejects his advance with "Sure, ye don't catch me that"—a period joke about unwanted kissing under mistletoe, rendered in working-class Irish dialect for comedic effect. **"Issues Wanted" editorial:** The author satirizes Americans' need for engaging social causes. He observes people obsess over sports and polar exploration controversies because they lack substantive political issues to debate. He argues modern America has become so "effete" (weakened) that it can't generate real issues like slavery or the Boston Tea Party once did—a critique of contemporary political complacency. **"Ballad of Old Christmas Presents":** A poem mocking the disposability of Christmas gifts. It catalogs unwanted presents (perfume sachets, ornamental shoes, bad music boxes) that inevitably end up in garbage pails or are regifted to distant relatives—satirizing both consumer culture and holiday gift-giving obligations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FOILED Mr. Brow The New id: on-no! AISY, WID YER MISTLETOE! Issues HAT this country necds above all things is issues—good, healthy is- issues that can be recognized with- out waiting for the newspapers to come sues out; issues that will make us put up our money then fight s in which we are vitally interested. and to win it; is- Several things conclusively prove the presence of this crying need. The most notable is the recent polar controversy. What interest we took in that! But it was not because we really cared. It was because, in the absence of something better, any issue would do. Why do we sit shivering at a foothall game or wear ourselves out standing in front of a bul- letin board? Simply because we are al- lowing the players to be our proxies in 2 LIGHT THE FIRE, PLEASE, BRIDGET. SURE, YE DON'T CATCH ME THAT. Wanted the best issue we can get hold of at the moment. So with baseball, pugilism, etc. always provided, however, it is thing that our poor minds can compre- hend. In the same we fight at election time trying to make Republican demerits look like merits in order to stand them off against Democratic demerits, and vice versa. But all these are make-believe They are not issues the like of which our forefathers enjoved and which we are wont to revere in history, such as slavery and that other little affair in which the Poston Tea Party figured A civilization which has become so effete that it cannot raise an issue is in a bad way indeed some- Microbe: YES, SEE THE MISTLETOE © SOMETHING ures. S$ THIS THE PLACE, mROTHER LOW. THERE'LL DOING FOR US IN A YEW MIN- Ballade of Old Christmas Presents HERE The are the cards of rainbow hue, calendars, both “art ’’ and gay, The perfume sachets, pin The fancy mantel vases, pray The gilded clocks in glad array, The book-marks bearing cheer,’ The roses modeled out of clay— Where are the gifts of yesteryear? and blue, Xmas Where is the urn that would not brew, The music never made to play, The ornamental china shoe, The pillowshams’ inwrought display? Where is the silver hairbrush, sa The stein that held a keg of beer, The padded copy of Omar K.— Where are the gifts of yesteryear? In the sordid ashheap, hid from view, The most have ended their little day; In the garbage pail and the rag-bag, too, A lot were quietly stowed away; And some were posted without delay To distant cousins and aunties dear: Scathed and scattered and worn and gray— Where are the gifts of yesteryear? Lady, as through the shops you stray, "Mid tawdry tinsel and slick veneer, Ask yourself this, as your coin you pay Where are the gifts of yesteryear? ADY (in modern book store): 1 wish to sce all of the latest books. Satesman: Very you kindly step railway ? Will scenic adam this well, 1 on board comicbooks.com