Life — October 7, 1909 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Boston “LIFE: or Not? Cook ard Peary Engaged Excluavely by Life to Discover and Fetch It Back Now on Their Way North Heartrending Tales of Hardship and Sublime Courage. (OOK and Peary have gone after Bos- ton. Their recent journeys to the North Pole seemed to demonstrate that they were better fitted for this perilous enterprise than any other sportsmen in the country who had nothing better to They were therefore Live. Please remember that their stories will appear only in this paper. We are somewhat patriotic, but we cannot afford this to interfere with our royalties or the proceeds of future lectures. Hereafter the names of Peary and Cook will appear only in Lire. Anybody else mentioning them will be enjoined. We know how to enjoin. We have been The Result Still in Doubt Immediately upon the arrival of Messrs. Cook and Peary to this country we invited them to a private confer- ence We explained briefly the object of our invitation. Both their heads in silence for at least five minutes. This is the first time in six months they have been silent for so long a period “Dr. Cook," said Licutenant Peary, “you are a liar, a horse thief and a bowed bunco steerer! "" You're another,”’ replied Dr. Cook “Coming up on the car you stole my watch and chain and took away my bar- tender’s license! "" A Few Boston Girls practising it for days and nights. While we mag be exclusive, we consider that the prevention of their names appearing elsewhere, from this time forth, is a dis: tinct service to humanity How did we come to secure them? Easy. We had merely to demonstrate that Boston was the only place on the globe not yet thoroughly discovered. The history of the various attempts to dis cover Poston is known to all, from the Roston Tea Party to Henry James. Harmony being thus established and the affair given the usual publicity the two explorers shook hands and started on their way rorth. The full story of their progress ap- pears exclusively in Lure Peary is backed by the Colonial Dames and Dr. Cook by the Daughters of the Revolution. Peary has been located in Fall River. His full story has been delayed, but we give as much of it as we can: Roth Explorers Started on Their Way North Fats. River, September 30. Accompanied only by a Pullman car porter and three Harvard men I arrived here yesterday. The thing that has saved me thus far is a barrel of nutmegs from Connecticut which I distributed to the natives. Tam in sight of the baked bean parallel. Yesterday I sent a bunt- ing party out and captured several Mas- sachusetts real estate agents. They con- tain small nourishment, -but never mind. If worst comes to worst, we still have the Harvard men. They are, thank God, in good condition. I am glad to say that the Sound excursion steamer I em- barked in was all that could be desired. I found the life preservers filled with an excellent breakfast food. The rest we used for kindling. Yesterday I located the mark estab- lished by the Ancient and Honorable Artillery Company. It is a gin bottle in bas relief on a field of crimson. The natives are with me to a Fall Riverite. I expect to learn their language, and hope to get some of them to go Give my regards to Cook, curses on him, and tell him T love him like a brother. If he says he is near Boston, he is a liar. I am the only gentleman explorer in the country, and after trying for twenty- three years no one else has a right to get ahead of me. And now for Boston and Fame. Peary. h me. The following was received from Dr. Cook : Lire, New York. I am now nearing the Rack Bay, all reports to the contrary notwithstanding. comicbooks.com