Life — September 2, 1909 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Supreme in style; perfect in quality. Knox Hats Worn by leaders of fashion for 70 years. Are Women Human? “Thank God, my mother wasn't fervently exc © Paradoxic. “Well, of was she? the Old-Fashioned Person “She was just a human being, of course,” paradoxically replied the Paradoxical Person “A Woman is something which cannot forget that she is a Woman, and which, therefore, i somehow the irreconcilable enemy of something else, called a Man. A Wo: super-human, constituting a separate class to be legislated for in a particular way, and with strong sense of superiority arising from the mere fact that she is a Woman. Women were never heard of in history until the latter part of the nineteenth century.” “Your viewpoint is at least startling, marked the Old-Fashioned Person. “To wt do you attribute the rise of this phenomenon?” “To Man, of course. If Man had not set her in a different class by denying her the vote there would be no need for the modern Woman at all.” hen I take it you are opposed to Woman suffrage." Not at all,"” said the Paradoxical Person is the only way to get rid of Women.” Then why do yo r such fervent thanks that your mother was not a Wo " Because she was happy without the vote.”” Why was that “ Because she had other things to think about such as children and pies," explained the Para- doxical Person. queried said the Old-Fashioned Person, as if the matter were perfectly clear.—Ellis O, Jones, in Lippincott's . BREATHES THERE A MAN WITIE SOLE SO DEAD? Good health meansa clear eye, good Judgment, more endurance. The morning ets den ic The Speakman Portable Shower Bath (See the Clip) £2~ TURNS _A_DUTY_INTO_ PLEASURE A full size, durable fixture, one which is always workin Note the Clip attachment, which will fit any double bat faucet, can be attached and detached instantly. Do’ not be misled by cheap showers offered, with inferior connections for the faucet. ‘The shower can be returned If, you are not. pleased when you receive it. Sold by the plumbing trade in all c D2” curtain rings, white duck curtain with hold-back book; 6\4” needle head; non-bursting rubber tubing and Clip Attach- ment. All metal parts made of brass heavily nickel plated. Complete $12.50 ties. SPEAKMAN SUPPLY @ PIPE CO. Riverview Wours, Wilmington, Delaware. Manufacturers of the Largest Line of Showers Made. New York Office, 156 Fifth Ave. Quite Enough Room “I fancy you've asked too many people. Thc table won't hold them.” “Oh, no! More people can be placed at a table now than formerly. Why, a fashionable woman in evening dress takes up about as much room as a rolled-up umbrella.”"—Lippincott’s. Not to Be Trapped “Concede nothing,’ was the advice of a well- known politician concerning a certain famous disputed election. His policy was followed to the letter by the man of whom the Chicago Tribune tells. On the relief train that had been rushed to the scene of the railway wreck was a newspaper reporter. The first victim he saw was a man whose eves were blackened and whose left arm was in a sling. With his hair full of dirt, one end of his shirt Collar flying loose and his coat ripped up the back, the victim was sitting on the grass and serenely contemplating the landscape “How many people are hurt?" asked the re- porter, hurrying up to him. “Thaven’t heard of anybody being hurt, young man,” said the other. “ How did this wreck happen?" “T haven't heard of any wrec! “You haven't? Who are you, anyhow?’ “1 don't know that it’s any of your busines but I’m the claim agent of the road.""—You Companion. INVESTMENT SECURITIES NEW 2 YORK S Bank and Trust || and High-Class Co. Stocks Industrials Ci Complete facilities | q We specialize stocks for purchase and || “d depending entirely sale of Stocks in Banks || on public demand for and Trust Companies || security and upon busi- located anywhere in || ness operations for United States. Our || profits, Our customers current Lists present || may invest in moderate unusual opportunities || amounts and pay in for investment in new || convenient installments, banks in growing towns || The largest investment as well as in established || business of thischaracter dividend-paying banks, || in the world—over forty We quote lowest prices. || thousand discriminating customers, Wit fs ou free pamohlet “No, 110° sting forth the face regarding Bark Stocks as an investment. We will also mail you our current fat, STERLING DEBENTURE CORPORATION INUNSWICK BUILDING MADISON SQUARE ae NEW YORK As Roebottom Worked N. W. Ayer, the advertising agent, at t ner in Philadelphia, in honor of his firm tieth anniversary, said that to succeed in adver- tising required hard work. “The successes in this business are stupen- dous,’’ he said, “ but some folks think that work ing as Rocbottom of Camden worked a man can build up a great advertising fortune. “Roebottom was a roofer. He was engage on a Mickle street house. One day, as he was lunching, he was heard to give a yell of p: “What's the matter, Roebottom?’ a carpen- ter asked. “*T got a nail in my foot,’ the roofer an- swered “*Well, why don’t you pull it out?” said the carpenter. “*What! In my dinner hour?’ yelled Roe- bottom, reproachfully.'’—Philadelphia Record. comicbooks.com