Life, 1909-09-02 · page 43 of 48
Life — September 2, 1909 — page 43: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct elements: a poem satirizing Americans' ignorance of history and literature, a humorous anecdote about advertising champagne, and a substantial advertisement for Anheuser-Busch Malt Nutrine. **The "Limited Knowledge" poem** mocks working-class Americans who know baseball statistics intimately but cannot name U.S. presidents or identify historical figures like Homer, Byron, or Caesar. The satire targets the gap between practical knowledge and cultural literacy—a common Progressive Era critique of American education. **The champagne anecdote** jokes about an advertising agent's scheme to manipulate hotel demand by having an actor repeatedly order a specific brand, exposing early 20th-century marketing manipulation tactics. **The beer advertisement** uses health rhetoric common to patent medicines of the era, claiming Malt Nutrine restores vitality and strengthens character—appeals particularly directed at farmers. This reflects pre-Prohibition advertising's grandiose health claims. The fragmented dialogue at page's bottom appears unrelated, possibly continuing another article.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HEART WAS BURSTING WITIC LOVE. ited Knowledge yt know that Homer ever sang a thrill- 8. t know who won at Waterloo; n't know that Caesar ever swayed a ng throng, tit was that Guy Fawkes tried to do; Bat he can tell you quickly, sf you have the wish Who have led the Leagues in batting for a doz- years oF $0, know an adverb from a pronoun or He mixes up his tenses when he speaks; He doesn't know who Byron was, or that he won nge has the highest mountain peaks; But he can give you quickly and without a mo- ment’s thought All the details of the battles that old John L. ever fought He coulin’t name a dozen of this country’s Pres- H t know who lost at Bunker Hill; nce he saw displayed a copy of “ Poor Rich- ard) for ten cents, And he bought it, but regret is with him still he says, “I looked all through it, and ere’s nutin’ dere at all Like dere is in dis here guide-book wit’ its rec- ords of baseball.” —Record Herald. An Appalling Possibility ay is laughing over a story about a nd an eminent actor, whom the attempted to make use of as an ad- medium. ‘The agent is introducing a nd of champagne, and the other day he he actor to assist him in the consump- bottle of it at one of the fashion- taurants now I'll tell you how you can do me a —if you should happen to feel like i do you a good turn, of course,” actor. this way,” the agent explained. “ You cling about the country a great deal and the best hotels. Now I want this champscne to become known in order to create a demand for it. What I would like you to do is to ask for my wine by name at the hotels you 80 to, so that the hotel men will get the idea that i: is popular in New York and send in their orders for it. You won't mind doing that for you?’"? ask for it with pleasure,” th “But, good beavens, ma actor de- he added, ‘ CLARK'S CRUISES RROUND THE WORLD 009 tons, brand new, Oct. 16, ‘09, from NN. ¥., and “Pisco. 6650 and up. An inl Grient Crnine Feb. 8; $400 un, by Lord 8S. nc 5 nd Palestine. FRANK C. CLARK: Times Dullding, New York, The Health of the Farmer \ is proverbial. The conquering, victorious spirits of the world come from the farm—for health is there. Health blows in its breezes and strength of character is bestowed by Nature’s elemental forces breathing across its bending ANHEUSER-BUSo),, harvests. contains nothing whatever but the combined juices of germinated barley Every bottle is charged with the strength Its aroma is the fragrance of the clinging ving vigor is the cream of ripened barley. It infuses life and selected Saazer Hops. and glory of the golden grain. hop vine and its EVA into the blood — sustains all the vital powers and to the feeble, aged and run down it is a veritable restorer of recreative and soothi: potency. Order of your Druggist or Grocer. For 12 tops of Red Metal caps from Large Malt Nutrines Bottles with Gold Trade-mark or 24 from Split Bottles with Black Trade-mark a1 $Seents for postage, we will send one of our Vienna Art Plates to any address in the United States. ANHEUSER-BUSCH, St. Louis, Mo. in sudden alarm. “ Suppose they should have it? . —Harper’s Week A SMALL Boy went into a South Boston drug: store, wrinkled his face, rubbed his head and rubbed his left foot up and down his right leg in an effort to remember something that had escaped hic. * he began, “will you tell me the name ¢ where we Americans have so many Fort Sheridan? ’’ “Oh, no. It’s further away than that “The Philippines? "’ “That ain't just it, but it's somewhere round there.” “Perhaps you mean Manila? ’’ “Manila! ‘That's right! I knew I would get it after a while. I want a bottle of manila ex- tract for flavorin’. They're going to have ice cream.’'—Boston Record. Bobby's Philosophy Bobby's father and mother were dressing to go to the theatre and the youth was greatly dis- tressed because he was not to be included in the Why can't I go, too? "? he whimpered, or a very good reason,” returned his father sharply, “I only bought two seats.” “Just think,” said Bobby, trying to stifle his tears, “if you hadn't married mother I. might have gone along all right! "’—Brooklyn Life. comicbooks.com