Life — September 2, 1909 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Bottled at its spring in France, PERRIER is famous in every country in the world. only natural gas. The Right Hot Weather Drink It contains The most healthful and pleas- ant of all table waters. French Maturat Sparkling Table Water Went to Smash “Yest'day was de fo'tieth ersary ub our ",* imparted the white-haired negro, * a great celebration de whole ting went to smash!" “What kind of a celebration?" A re-weddin’, Yo" see, me an’ Chloe had it all fixed to invite all our friends to de chu'ch, an’ accompanied by de same bridesmaid, bes’ man and ushers, ma'ch up de aisle an’ be re-wedded befo’ de same pahson as fo'ty years ag “What prevented the celebration? "" “De pahson. Yo" sec, we wanted everyt’ing de same as befo’, but de pahson he refused to gib back de five dollars so’s Ah could pay him de same money! ''—Brooklyn Li The Little Willie Knew Little Wille, the con of a Germantown woman, was playing one day with the girl next door, when the latter exclaimed: “Don't you hear your mother calling you? That's three times she’s done so. Aren't you go- ing in? * “Not yet.” responded Willie imperturbably. nded the little “Won't she whip you?" de girl, awed “Naw!"" exclaimed Willie, in disgust. “ She “10 whip nobody! She's got company. zo in, she'll just say: ‘The poor been so deaf since he’s had the dwin Tarrisse, in Lippincott’s. The Higher Criti There is a bit of biblical humor that I fear] would hardly do for “Life '’:—Elisha went of to the desert with his master and returned with out said master, but with all his valuables, viz, one cloak and use of office. He knew his audience, so he told then that the Prophet had gone up in a flaming. fery chariot, bestowing the valuables on him. And they never even looked for the bo-ly in the sand.—Bolton Hall in The Fra. Tue story is told of an English Army ex who once had before stupid caniidate The candidate being apparently unable to answer the simplest questions, the examiner finally grew most impatient, and in a burst of sarcasm de mandeé “Let it be supposed, sir, that you were cap- tain in command of infantry; that in your rear was an impassable abyss; that on both sides of you there rose perpendicular rocks of tremendous height; that in front of you lay the enemy oat numbering you ten to one. What, sir, in such an emergency would you do?”’ “* responded the applicant for mil distinction, “I should resign.""—Tit-Bits The maintained leadership of EVANS’ ALE is due to acombination of causes, any one of which would git i tinction. Constantly atrivi it better has made it THE BEST. C,H, EVANS & $088, + + HIUDSOS, x. re So Much Easier Fourth Month of And now, for the second time, the official reports throughout the country declare THE INNER SHRINE to be the best selling novel. There could be but one reason for this country-wide praise, the reason that is summed up in a praise—"the assurance in the book itself that it is a star of the first magnitude, the most surprising novel of the year.”’ THE INNER SHRINF has been acclaimed thus from every part of the country. Copyright, 1900,by Harper & Brothers Splendidly Mlastrated by Frank Cralg. Increasing Triumph On merit alone has its sen- sational triumph been achiev- ed. The public received THE INNER SHRINE anonymously—the book had no great name to push it into prominence—and_ the public immediately recog- y nized the book’s superlative quality—interestingness. The beginning of the fourth month since publica- tion finds THE INNER SHRINE more read and more talked about than ever and for two months the best selling novel everywhere. Cloth, $1.50 HARPER & BROTHERS, Publishers, NEW YORK 288 land, far away from anywhere, exclaimed to one of the natives, “ Why, what do you do whe: of you are ill? You can never get a “Nae, sir," replied Sandy. “ We've dee a naitural death.""—London Opinion. Mr. Joseru Punitzer, we are told in thorized interview, guards his domestic privacy with the most jealous care. Wonder he docsn't give the rest of the population a chance !— Papyrus. “BUT, MY DEAR, IT ISN'T FIT AND PROPER THAT YOU SMOULD MARRY AN OLD DAY-FLY LIKE WIM. WHY, We’S AT LEAST 120 MINUTES OLD, AND YOU'RE ONLY 19.” comicbooks.com