Life — September 2, 1909 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AUT SCISSORS soy AvT NULLus fot (With acknowledgments to R. K.) A fool there was, and he raised his head, Even as you and I He had made his drive and lai And unto himself he softly said, “TN gobble a two or bust instead Even as you and: I Now, the fool looked up as he made his putt, And the ball flubbed on with a slicy cut, And the fool howled, “Ob, you blankety mutt! "* Even as you and I —Harper’s Wee Rather Rough Guxxex: And now comes a professor who de clares that fruit is just as healthy with the skin on as it is peeled Guvee: H'm! I'd like to see somebody start him on a diet of pineapples.—Chicago Nevws. “Magna Cum Laude” “Did your son graduate with honors?” “J should say so. He had two fractured ribs, a broken arm, and numerous strained tendons."" —Red Hen it dead, Sau: A normal human brain weighs two pounds, fifteen ounces. Waite: Let's talk about things that concern us.—Judge. ECCENTRIC re was once a Pianist named Greer, Whose playing was awful to hear; But they say his Technique Was unique, so to speak, For he played absolutely by Ear. Dr. Oster’s jest still recoils upon him. “At Oxford, on occasion of his sixty-first birthday, an undergraduate poem ra Brothers, I am sixty-one, And my work on earth is done; Peace should follow after storm, Reach me down the chloroform! —Post As Evor ON THE way. We are moving to the country and our brand new bungalow; We've finished with the packing and are ready now to go. We've taken the canary and the parrot and the cat, And we're all of us delighted to be done with that old flat! We have left the city racket and the turmoil as! the heat, And we're glad to say adicu to both the boildisg and the street The van man’s gone before us and we're speed ing on our way; We'll cat our humbl to-day! supper at the bungaloe LATER. We have been here most a fortnight in this God. forsaken spot! ‘The roads are something awful, and, my eye, bet ain't it hot! There's hardly any water and there isn’t any gas The dooryard’s full of mortar, but there's not 2 blade of grass. We haven't any neighbors and we're broiling in the glare, And the silence is so awful that it’s more than we can bear. The parrot’s most unhappy, and so likewise is the cat, And we're all of us just pining for the old, de lightful flat! —L. S. Watherhouse in The Sun. hursday, simaltaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and ional postage to foreign countries in the Postal al Single current copies. 10 cents, Back numbers, alter three $308 year in advance. Ack SU ta years to Canada, 82ce Months from date of publication, 25 cents vill be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. Lire ited contributions ational News Company, Breams self responsible for the to return of unsol sale by af Newsdealers in Great Hirtain. ‘The lat at Siarbach's St. Georges. Pari Railding, Chancery Lane, London, land, Agents. Brentano's, 37 Ave. de Opera. Pe reet, Leicester Square, W. London: 9, a in Firenze, M The text and tiustrations in Live ave copyrighted. 8 due credit; but the iinstrations are net to be reproduced: tracts from the text may be niet, ihont special permission esiatnels d be sent by subscribers of any change of address BREWSTER @ CoO. Broadway and 47th St. NEW YoOorRKH DELAUNAY-BELLEVILLE CHASSIS The New Low-Powered 6-Cylinder Chassis Perfection for Town and Suburban Use PEERLESS CARS (By special arrangement with the Peerless Motor Car Co.) Fitted with Our Exclusive Coach Work BODIES FOR ANY CHASSIS REPAIRS TO BODY OR MOTOR comicbooks.com