Life, 1909-09-02 · page 31 of 48
Life — September 2, 1909 — page 31: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising-driven**, not satirical content. The dominant feature is a full-page advertisement for Dow Inner Tubes (automobile tires), showcasing customer testimonials from Mr. C. H. Lester praising their durability across 12,000 miles. The smaller text sections are brief humor pieces and notices typical of Life's satirical format: - "College Boys Growing" reports (apparently seriously) that American college athletes are taller and heavier than previous generations - Henry H. Rogers anecdote mocks inefficient economic thinking - "The Difference" contains light comedy about optimists vs. pessimists The illustrated figure in the Dow ad is simply a **generic motorist**—not a specific political figure—depicted to represent the satisfied customer endorsing the product. For modern readers: this reveals early 1900s automotive culture, when tire punctures were routine hazards and rubber tube technology was marketed as cutting-edge innovation. The feather-paste sealant described sounds dubious by today's standards.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Great personal advantage follows the daily use of Dentacura Tooth Paste. Its cleansing ies are faultless; its action in preserv- teeth from decay unique. Nothing as good. Endorsed by thousands sts, For sale everywhere. 25c. a ‘ple and testimonials free. RA COMPANY, 273 Alling Street, NEWARK, KJ, College Boys Growing ents by scientists bring out the in- ct that the American college athlete y is a much larger man than his father was, and is constantly growing. The average height of the Yale athlete to-day is an inch and a half more than it was five years ago; he is twenty-two pounds heavier, with three inches s receipt [more chest development and 42 cubic inches n for six JF more apacity; the average height of the Yale athletes is now § feet 9.9 inches and their xactly 170.5 pounds. At an examination rd athletes Professor Sargent found were an inch taller and from four to r than were the students of } thirty years ago.—New Bedford Mercury. Tne late Henry H. Rogers, discussing once with a reporter the idea of government work for the unemployed in hard times, said: “Economie conditions can't be bettered by manufacturing work for men to do. Such eco- nomic ideas remind me of Tim Greeley, of Fair- marketed for his mess during the war. eggs used to be sold for half the Tim walked in one day sket and said: ne two dozen best cracked eggs.” Cracked eggs all out, Tim," said the sutler. “Tim nodded toward the egg crate in the corner “Well, crack us some, will ye?’ said he."— Rochester Herald. Resolution ness, I, Kitty Cameron, have far too many (They say that I encourage them? It not so!) ras, to make life simple is what I most for which just concentration is all that Cracked d, That I, instanter, before it is too . without reserve, strictly to con- to give up splitting waltzes and such icks, cut down my field of labor and con six.—N. Y. Sun. The Goods | ve in exacting times.” ust deliver the goods, and yet not be ith them.’’—Louisville Courier-Journal, aaa | One Year’s Experience WITH A SET OF Dow Inner Tubes Mr. C. H. Lester of Englewood, N. J., writes us under date of June, 1908, in part, as follows :—‘‘I left New York for Chicago and finally reached here after a most trying run over the worst possible roads; in places I ran for miles over cut stones and sharp edged rocks so that my new tires were cut to pieces ; in many places you can see the inner tube.’’ “T felt perfectly secure with your tubes.’ Under date of July, 1909, Mr. Lester writes :—‘‘As you know from my letter of a year ago what I think of the Dow Tube, I want | to say further to you that I used the same set of tubes and drove over 12,000 miles in my Packard Runabout. They have given me the utmost satisfaction in every way and I never started for a run but what I felt perfectly secure in arriving on time.” There are no miracles in rubber tubes, and it is un- reasonable to expect them. Motorists do not ask impossi- bilities of magnetos or car- buretors, but they do of tires. Tire troubles are as sure as death and taxes, but Dow Tubes will not deflate from punctures, and that is surely accomplishing a great deal. Dow Tubes will cut your tire troubles down to the lowest minimum. They do not deflate from punctures. They have double walls—except at the rim section—and between those walls is a mixture of paste and feathers. When the air attempts to escape it forces the feathers into the puncture and hermetically seals it at once. DOW TIRE COMPANY NEW YORK, 2000 Broadway BOSTON, 893 Boylston: St. more think of using any other tube than yours, than Id start out without oil and water. Red Cedar Chest positively protects 7 and furs agaiet moths, dust aod t from. EOF COST! ideal iritman wedding iba Et com Nest posnile degree of elegance and otlity yet attained in Dect, 69, Statesville. N.C. The Difference Sydney Rosenfeld once wrote a comedy en- titled The Optimist, which achieved success after the production, but was a long time reach- ing the stage. Manager after manager refused the manuscript, and one day Mr. Rosenteld, Motiter (telling the history of our first par- ents): And Eve ate of the fruit and she gave some to Adam Dotty: Oh, mummie! how kind of her!— Punch. “ Birrers must be a poet and a socialistic re- whose patience was exhausted, blurted out to his sole auditor: “Of course you don’t appreciate the play! You don’t even know the meaning of its name.” “Yes, I do,” protested the impresario. “Well,” insisted Mr. Rosenfeld, “ wh; the difference between an optimist and a pessimi The manager barely hesitated. “An optimist is an eye doctor,” he said; “a pessimist is a°foot doctor.”—Harper’s Weekly. 35 former.” “What makes you think so?’ Why, I understand he never pays any taxes.”” —Cleveland Plain Dealer. A westeRN clergyman announces that the God of the Bible is not the God of Chicago. We had suspected as much for a long time.—Philadelphia Inquirer. comicbooks.com