Life — September 2, 1909 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Husbands’ Correspondence Bureau No connection with any other establishment. DIFFICULT and critical situation has arisen. We shall meet it, of verything has to be met in this world and, eventually, overcome. We have no fear of the ulti nevertheless we have been watching with some anxiety the increase in the letters received in this office from hus. bands who are happily married, but who want to join the bureau on general prin- Here is a fair sample: course. ate result— ciples. lad to note the splendid work your Bureau is doing among many afficted hus: bands. I have a number of friends who have been greatly benefited, a whom it is even safe now to visit in their own homes with pleasant results. In fact, | am so much im- pressed with the general worth of your work that, although I am getting along all right with my wife, I think I should like to join. I won't take a regular course—that, as I have explained to you, not being necessary. But you might put me down for the full programme as outlined by your entertainment commit. tee. Also send me a couple of copies of your Galaxy of Beauties. 1 feel—we both feel— that you ought to be encouraged. My wife joins me in kindest regards. In making your acknowledgment, however, please address the Galaxy to my office, Yours very truly, B— w— We have written this gentleman that we cannot enter him on our books. The moment that the slightest trouble de- velops in his family life we shall be only too proud and happy to give him the benefit of our wonderful system, But it might as well be understood first as last, that this Bureau is no Elysian Field of Paradise. As it is, we can't begin to supply the demands of our regular cus tomers. We are already several hundred cases behind hand in our orders, and it is bad enough to know that, owing to a pressure of business, so many are in actual misery, without our being re- garded in the light of a popular purveyor of light entertainment. And this leads us to make a frank statement of our aims and methods. We have thought about doing this for some time, but have hesitated to intrude our own private affairs too much. But we might as well get it off our minds first as last. Our old-established trade under- stand us very well. They know the high ideals that we are aiming at. No need to explain to them. But it hurts us more than we can say to be in receipt of so many communications from thoughtless, happily married people who seem to think they are actually paying us a com- pliment when they praise the work of our entertainment committee, and ask that they join. To all such we ay emphatically, as we have answered the gentleman above, No, never! It is, of course, inevitable that base minds should utter cheap insinuations against our courses, and intimate that our Galaxy of Beauties, our Vaudeville Performance, our Summer Camp and our delightful poker rooms, to say noth- ing of the fall programme of our enter- tainment committee (sent on request to any address), are all so many baits to catch trade with These insinuations are, of course, to be expected. They proceed partly from misunderstanding, partly from envy, and mostly from the reports and stories sent out by rival concerns, who are utterly without scruples Now the facts are simple. When we take hold of a new case the husband is 6fien in a thoroughly cowed state; in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, in fact. We have to get his spirit back in any way that we can. But above all things, we have to keep him cheered up. We use every means in our power to bring this about, without in any way harming his moral-nature, and it is only by the most consummate art that we are able to do this. In the hands of less ex- perienced persons the programme of our entertainment committee would no doubt be harmful in many cases, But we know our business, know just when to stop, know that psychological moment when we can bring husband and wife together again and with their relations as they ought to be. The following letter, com- ing from one of our oldest customers, will not only explain our attitude but do us justice in the eyes of those who may hare hitherto unconsciously misjudged us: Dear Bureau: iat. ae 1 notice that your rivals in this vicinity are claiming that they themselves have re- fused to employ some of the chorus girls you afterward engaged, on the ground of their age, and that when’ you did employ them you fixed them up in new clothes and false hair, ete., so that they didn’t look over thirty. I enclose herewith a circular bearing on the subject, and have underlined some of the statements about your motives, and so on. I may say that I know your chorus girls are all. right, from personal experience. Now with regard to, your motives:, I been on your books since you started. you began I couldn't wait to get in. What I want to emphasize is that in my opinion every man needs just the sort of recreation that you offer, and I don't hesitate to state that {t does him good. I will go farther. I believe that it makes for character. It has in my case. My wife respects me ali the more, just because she knows Tam human. You saved me, God bless yor Yours respectfully J— B— P. S.—Send me your revised edition of Galaxy of Beauties. This ought to set at rest the diabolical statements that have been made about us by creatures consumed with jealousy. We know by experience that our course of treatment in reality adds to a man's moral stature. We have seen it demon- strated time and again. We ask pardon for taking up this persortal matter— which we shall never again refer to— aswe consider it beneath our dignity. In the meantime, when you are in town, drop in and see us. It won't cost you a cent. You will find our reading, bridge and poker rooms a refuge in time of matrimonial stress. As you enter, the tall, stately blonde just on the right will direct you to the proper place. Please don’t attempt to intrude into our private office. We should love to see personally all of our customers. But a higher duty Prevents, Remember, our treatment is infallible. Advanced cases most cheer- fully taken. Call, write or wire Huspanns’ Cornesronpence Bureau. Fright Destroys Power of Speech Traverse City, Mich., Dispatch, Thinking that she was about to be run down by an automobile, Miss Rhoda Rotten: bury, twenty-five years old, was so frightened that her vocal cords were paralyzed and she is unable to speak. Physicians say that it is doubtful if she will ever regain her. speech Miss Rottenbury stepped out of a sight-see- ing automobile only to see a touring car_ap- proaching. So close were the two machines in passing that it was only by rising on her tiptoe that Miss Rottenbury escaped being crushed between them. After the danger was over she collapsed and was taken home. Eprtor Huspanps’ Burea' My Dear Sir: Can you assist me in finding out the name of the touring car that did this thing, together with the ad- dress of the manufacturers? As ‘a “busband’s friend ’’ it beats your Bu- reau to a frazzle. I'll have one, if it costs my last dollar. Help me find it, and I am yours forever, CorresronvEeNce A Hespanp. comicbooks.com