Life — August 5, 1909 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“WHAT'S ALL THAT COLLAR POR? “W'S GOING TO THE BALL DISGUISED AS A BULLDOG.”* “Short Studies of Life” (With apologies to Turgenief) By Wittiam J. Lampton A Self-Satisfied Woman A woman is walking lightly along Fifth Avenue. Her demeanor is care- | s, cheerful and self-conscious. Her eyes sparkle, a smile is on her fips, and her pleasant face is slightly flushed. She is full of self-confidence and satis fection, Her hat is on straight and she is appareled in the mode. What has happened to her? Has she received money? Has she attained | gher social position? Does a loved one await her? Or is it merely the | g sense of her possession of health and home and happiness? | No. She has heard a bit of slander about one of her best friends, and « is carefully circulating it abroad. This same slander she had fr the + of another who had it from a third and she from somewhere, and cach of em had more than suspected it all the time. Oh, how content and complacent is this amiable, Christian lady as she ks lightly along Fifth Avenue The Beggar T passed along the street. A beggar stopped me. He was quite di ble in his dirt and decayed attire. Ah, how poverty had disfigured created from clay similar to that of the rich, The inflam lips, the coarse clothes, the unwashedness of him. He stretched out his red and dirty hand toward me. He mumbled and whimpered for charity. I searched all my pockets. Neither purse, nor change, nor watch, nor other collateral could be found. I had spent my last dime for the cigar I was smoking. I owed my landlord and my tailor and was out of a job. The beggar waited and his outstretched hand shook slightly and quivered ¢ had seen others do as I was doing and shake their heads Distressed and embarrassed, for 1 have a kind heart, I gazed into his face juarely and compared our respective conditions “Tam very sorry, but I haven’t a cent about me," I said to him, in all nesty, feeling assured from what I knew of his kind that his vile razs con led many penmes, possibly dimes, even dollars, for street beggars are not thout habits of economy. The beggar turned his red eyes upon me. His hand fell. His blue lips parted in a sneer, “You're a liar,” he growled at me and turned away to seek richer fields csewhere I sighed. I could not say to him: “ You're another,”” because the evidence inst me, and I felt that, indeed, one should avoid the appearance of wealth and not disappoint his fellow-man. A Rule of Life “If you would thoroughly disconcert and irritate your enemy—"' this was old intriguer’s advice to me— accuse him of the same fault, the same vice at you yourself strive to overcome. Reproach him bitterly with it, and he: Jon him the severest reproofs.’” First.—By these means you will persuade others that this is no vice of Secondly —Your indignation is unfeigned. They have the benefit of your conscience. I recalled dimly the old intriguer’s words when, some evenings ago I was turning from a dinner where the feast was long and the drinks were strong ! was walking to get the air. A policeman took hold of me because I insisted loudly that the crowd on Jewalk interfered with me and declined to get out of my w You've been drinking," he said good naturedly, but with firmness. “Whaz mazzer wiz zhou?"’ I retorted indignantly. “ Youzh zrunk yosefh—"" whereupon the crowd laughed loudly and jeered at me—" Y" ought be shamed yousefh onzh streetzh like zhis. Oss’ fer zhe law, choo. Leggo iy arm, you 'ntosshicated ragamuf—ragam—bag—bag—bag o° stuffin’ When I had thus spoken and the crowd had jeered again, most disorderly, the officer took me in charge and delivered me at the nearest station house, wkere I remained under “ suspicion’ until I was discovered by friends and bailed out. From which I infer that it is not well to take advice on a full stomach. Bad Air vs. Good Work Your Lungs require 30 Cubic Feet of Fresh Air a Minute Otherwise you can’t do your best work or enjoy D perfect health. You probably leave ventilation to chance. On windy days your rooms are well aired ; on quiet days you take into your lungs over and over again air that is foul with carbonic acid gas. The average office is usually either filled with dead air, or blown into disorder by drafts. The Sturtevant Ready-to-Run Ventilating Set Either Blows Fresh Air in or Takes Foul Air Out and is a positive means of supplying pure air under all weather conditions. It increases the working power of all in the room, and does not cause coughs and colds, as docs the haphazard open-window method. Remember that ordinary desk fans do not ventilate—they simply agitate the dead air. In the HOME, it keeps a// rooms sweet and clean, gives all the advantages of open air sleeping, drives out dampness, prevents mustiness, It is PORTABLE. Itisready to run. It is operated by the current from your electric light. Used in Clubs, Smoking-Rooms, Offices, Kitchens, Sick-Rooms, etc. If you have any office, room or basement that is not as fresh and airy as you wish, write us about it. We are Ventilation experts. SEND FOR BULLETIN NO. 108L It tells facts you should know about real ventilation, and is sent Free, The B. F. Sturtevant Company, Boston, Mass, Office and Works, Hyde Park, Mi comicbooks.com