Life — August 5, 1909 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHEN THINGS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM The Social Gathering ROOM filled with men and women, talking persistently against each other. Some are others are place. Hubbub. All sorts and conditions of women. All _kinds of necks. The scrawny neck, suggestive of a depletion of tissue The fat neck, with its rotund creases and curves. The chemical neck, pre- pared with the highest art. Backs. haped backs and rounded hacks, and just plain backs. The one mole back and the faintly freckled back. The mottled back. The white back. The tanned back, souvenir of summer. Men. Fat men, thin men. Nosey men Standing alone, against space, wear while their leaving, take constantly crowding in to eLDE EB Nervously hold- Men with forced Leaning against chairs. ing their own hands. smiles. Bored men, effusive men, dan dies, fops, cads, good fellows, bachelors, husbands, widowers Colored food. Brown bouillon, tan biscuits, gray oysters, green salad, pink ice-cream, piebald cake. Music in the alcove. Low, then high, then medium. Breaking in waves on the men and sound. Competing with them and being overmastered. Words. Meaningless smart words, correct words, brainless words, and more words. Words flowing along in quiet streams, in sudden torrents, cas cades of words, little fountains of words, falling ceaselessly on the floor and evap- orating. Vanities. Envies. Likes and dislikes, skulking in background. Ambitions. Despairs. Malices. Hates. Out. He Missed His Chance ATE afternoon in New Jersey. The sunset flickered fitfully over the West Hoboken meadows as the train, coming to its usual halt, waited for the conductor and the brakeman to agree about the number of tickets they had punched, ere they proceeded upon their journey. The passengers standing in the aisles conversed in low, cultured monotones Others read their Welsbach editions of Homer's “ Iliad," Loards. An elderly forward nd women. Bathing them in words, or exchanged chess man in the crowd leaned touched lightly on the handsome young fellow “he said, “a word with shoulder a tall Young man, bowed courteously He had not lived on the outskirts of South Orange all of his life without knowing how to act in the best society His companion proceeded, in a culti- vated whisper: “Tam a Morristown millionaire. You. of course, did not know it; but I got on this crowded train with that young blonde over there. The moment that she pressed through the aisle. you, with inborn chivalry, sprang up and gave her your seat. Rarely have I witnessed such an instance of unconscious politeness and true courtesy. Here is my card. My palatial home in is hence- forth yours. Come and visit us. I want you to meet my daughter. For years I have had just such a young man as you in mind.” The young man shook his head, while the involuntary tears filled his eyes. The young man Morristown “Iam awfully sorry, sir," he said, “but you are just twenty-four hours too late. Last night, on this same train, I got up and gave my seat to the daughter of a Newark plumber."” Wall Street Bromides HE insiders know what they're doing. Well, stocks were too high, any- way. 1 knew that stock was about ready to gO up. I'm glad I sold out before that stock went down, I never buy a stock unless it has in- trinsic value behind it. If I had depended on my own judg- nent, T would have made twice as much. Mrs. Hank: if you wox't po xo work, VER WON'T GIT NO DINNER, AND THAT'S ALL TieKY 18 10 17, “TELL YOU WHAT t AM WILLING To 0. 4 WILL GIVE YOU A LESSON IN CORRECT ENGLISH. is 17 a coh” comicbooks.com