Life — July 29, 1909 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Road of a Thousand Eyes The way is watched. A thousand eyes insure your safety on dale ocky Dfountain Limited Every mile of track is scanned every day. roadbed is sound and firm. The You can leave care behind you from the time you start until you stop. The Limited of limitless comfort for folks of limited time. Several other splendid trains daily from Chic & and Birmingham. go, St. Louis, Kansas City, Memphis The only service to both Denver and Colorado Springs direct. ifle Exposition.” Th t the best out of Summer—fres jer the Turquolse 1c Colorado and Yellows! ky “all about Park to the will show you Just how easily one pn request. JOHN SEBASTIAN, Passenger Traffic Manager, 6 LaSalle Street Station, Chicago, Ill. Rocke. [slandl-Frisco [ines Heard Something One summer evening a miller was leaning over his garden gate, facing the road, enjoying his pipe, when a conceited young farmer happened to be passing. The miller, in a frie! said : “Good evening, George.”” “T didn’t speak,” said George, grufily. “Ob,” said the miller. “I thought you di but it must have been your ears flapping.”"— Chattanooga Times. Rushing Them Off “What's Zeke Crossby doing rushing down to the barn in such an excited state for?’’ drawled Hiram Hardapple. “Why, Zeke heard that one of his seven daugh- ters is going to elope to-night with a summer boarder in Zeke’s auto,"? whispered the hired man “Do tell! And I suppose Zeke is running down to lock the machine up so they can’t get it? . no! Zeke's running down to grease it up and put the motors in order so it won't break down and break up the elopement.'’—Chicago News. FLORIDA A Toilet Treasure Without exception the best and most popular Toilet Perfume made IX the Bath it is cooling and. reviving; on the Handkerchief and for general Toilet use it is delightful ; after Shaving itis simply the very best thing to use, ‘OUR DRUGGIST FOR IT. EPT NO SUBSTITUTE! Sterling Tires are about one year old—old enough to talk for themselves—and they do. We tested them hard for six months, before we offered O16 for sale. Since then about 15,00) have Been sold, and we do not Know of one dissatisfied customer. May we suggest that that Is “going some "* Sterling Blue Tube |. There ts no other blue tube, therefore no excuse for not getting the best. There's method in the blueness—it 1s a heat resister— faves blow outs. “Ask us why they're blue." Tell us what tires you use and where you buy them, and. ‘we'll tell you how to get a Sterling Blue Tube—FREE. RUTHERFORD RUBBER CO., Rutherford, N. J. Saving the Best William S. Bennett, a Representative from New York City, went to address a political meet- ing in his district one night, when he was much younger than he is now. “The chairman,” said Bennett, “was a very literal person. He looked at the gallery, where one woman was sitting, and said: ‘Lady and gentlemen, this is a most momentous campaign. There are grave issues to be discussed. Later we will hear from our best speakers, but, for the present, we will listen to Mr. Bennett.’ ""—Sat- urday Evening Post. GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER 50 cents per case of 0 glass stoppered bottles His Documents “I like you, Fred, I like your ‘looks; But you've never read""— And_she shook her head— “Five feet of books “Mere bookish lore, red, “is a bore! But I do adore Five feet of girl!" —Chicago Tribune. resort of the rvitts, N. C.: The four-seasor nn of Asheville. 1. THE ‘Maxox, the English-like As They View It Life is a strawberry shortcake, It ought to be added, though, That the optimist sees the berries, While the pessimist sees the dough: —Chicago Record-Herald, Obeying Orders The first and the last duty of a common soldier is to obey orders. Nor is he allowed to put upos s orders a construction that might suit cases not anticipated. This, however, sometimes leads to amusing results, as in an instance told by Mr. L. A. Tollemandie in his recent book, “ Old and Odd Memories.”” The scene of one of my father’s anecdotes was laid in a Southern seaport town, where long ago a general and an admiral were neighbors. The general’s house was fronted by a grass-plat, on which he claimed the right to pasture a cow One day his wife complained that the supply of milk was falling off. The sentinel accounted for the deficiency by saying that the grass had lately been much trodden down by the public The martial despot immediately gave orders that no animal, human or other, except the cow, should be allowed on the grass-plat; and he added—men were not particular in those d that if this rule were infringed the sentinel should be flogged. Soon afterward the admiral’s wife, having a ement, took a short cut over the in disregard of the sentinel’s repeated order to halt ** said the offended lady, “don't you know Tam?” 1 I know is that you're not the general's .'—Youth’s Companion. A Clever Turn An eminent lawyer was once cross-examining a very clever woman, mother of the plaintiff in a breach of promise action, and was completely worsted in the encounter of wits. At the close, however, he turned to the jury and exclaimed, “You saw, gentlemen, that even I was but a child in her hands, What must my client have been?"’ By this adroit stroke of advocacy he turned his failure into a success.—London Mail. Her Dilemma Bessie: Oh, Mabel! I am in an awful dilem- ! I've quarreled with Harry and he wants to send his ring ba Manet: That's too bad. Bessix: But that isn’t the point. I've for- gotten which is his ring—Kansas City Journal. by BORATED TALCUM comicbooks.com